My fellow GameTaverners, I speak to you today as a humble servant of this great land we call the Internet, a land which has nurtured and provided for us ever since Al Gore expelled it from his uterus. In the early days of GameTavern we were led by CamFu the Great and Crash the Bold, both of whom I suspect were also expelled from their respective mother's uterus. However CamFu was lost to the Great War in the East and Crash fell asleep on his couch. Not able to bear the site of a withering GameTavern I, Neo the Wise, formally known as Shop-S-Mart the Jackass, picked up the torch and carried on, with a total disregard for my own personal safety or depth of pocketbook.
And now we find our precious GameTavern blossoming like a young woman coming of age and having her first sexual experience. Thanks to the blessings of vBulletin 3 we now have several glorious features for all to enjoy, much like the enjoyment gleaned from smelling your own farts for the first time. No longer must we be confined within the walls of a single front-end style, for now we have two such choices available with more on the way. And choice, my friends, is what this great land is truly about. Imagine being forced to join a site that your parents chose, just before they choose your life-mate and condemn you to a loveless marriage full of quiet desperation and sleepless nights of alcoholic despair.
The achievement of which I am most proud would be the arcade games which we are now able to play without having to take leave of GameTavern, much like not having to leave the house when you want to play with yourself. Allow me to lay to rest any fears you may have concerning the lack of additions to our digital portfolio. I can assure you, the games are on the way. Say it with me - "The games are on the way!" Soon you will be able to challenge your fellow GameTaverner in an even wider variety of games, each of which has its own glorious story waiting to be told.
Our library of smilies knows no equal. We have the
, the
, the
, and who can forget
. These smilies and others like them give us the freedom to express ourselves in multiple fashions - much like the multiple fashions worn by the socially trendy.
We have a crack staff team, not a staff team on crack, who toil night and day to bring order and provide us with security and comfort. They are the Q-ball to the pool table, the lifeguard to the pool, and the dominatrix to the b--- uh, never mind.
Member blogs, online chat, and Black Project oddities are additional morsels we sink our teeth into, much like....food.
All in all it has been a record year for GameTavern, with membership and user activity at all-time highs. I know that with everyone's help we will continue to enjoy present levels of success as we reach for the next level, much like the next level of whatever game you happen to be currently playing.
God bless GameTavern. Thank you and goodnight.
The State of GameTavern Address
Linear Mode
