Ask GameTavern

[Xantar]

So instead of disrupting Typhoid's thread further, I thought I'd try something out. As I've mentioned, I have a hobby of collecting interesting advice column letters, and I'll post some of them here for you to take a crack at (or you can just make fun of them. Some of them deserve it).

I guarantee these letters were really sent to advice columnists although I can't guarantee that they are all for real. And if you've seen some interesting ones, you're invited to post them here.

Let's start with a fairly serious one.

Dear GameTavern,

I am a university student enrolled in a class that meets several hours a week. I recognized another student in the class but couldn't figure out where I knew him from. Recently I asked him, and I really wish I hadn't. His grandmother used to baby-sit us as kids, and for three years, her husband sexually molested me. Legal action was taken, and I thought I was over it. I had one conversation with his grandmother after the events, and it was clear she was in serious denial. Since the grandson's revelation, my stomach has been in knots. However, he has been pleasant toward me, and his response when I asked his identity indicated that he has no idea what his grandfather is guilty of. I'm scared that every time I see him, I will be taken back to that time in my life. He has grown to be a very nice young man, from what I can tell. I just don't know what to do. Should I confront him? Avoid conversations about the past? Avoid him altogether?

[manasecret]

Unless you have suddenly become good friends, which it sounds like that is not the case, just avoid him altogether. The end.

EDIT: Sorry, that's really not much fun of an answer . I was going to flesh it out, but I don't have the time at the moment. After a few more respond, I'm curious what the advice columnist's answer was.

[TheSlyMoogle]

I would also like to see the advice columnist response too.

Avoid him. Likely a possibility he could have been molested by granddaddy as well, so you might be opening more than your own can of worms.

[Angrist]

I'd say: talk about it. Maybe not with him, but with somebody. You're clearly not really over it yet.

I was gonna say 'you can't keep running from your fears', but if it's only 1 guy, I guess you can...

[Xantar]

The actual advice columnist's response was not to bring the subject up, try to treat the guy as his own person and seek therapy because there are clearly still remaining issues.

So let's see, what else can I use...ah, here's a good one.

Dear GameTavern,

So I hired a P.I., who posed as an erotic masseuse, on my partner. My partner played along over e-mail while never being explicit himself. They arranged to meet, and he showed up at the appointed time. When he returned to his apartment (after all, the masseuse was a ruse), he wrote her an e-mail repudiating some of her sexier suggestions. He is now upset at ME for “violating his trust,” even though he lied several times about his plans with her—and claims he ultimately made the right call. Any advice?

Give it your best shot!

[uber_paddler]

You got what you deserved. Don't play games with people if you're not prepared for the outcome. Smarten the **** up.

[BreakABone]

She is all in the wrong here. Not only that, but after he refused sex, she is upset that he LIED about where he was going.

If lying is her problem, she really shouldn't have set up a P.I to check if he was dishonest. If I were him, I would dump the chick not worth the headache.

[Ginkasa]

Originally Posted by BreakABone

She is all in the wrong here. Not only that, but after he refused sex, she is upset that he LIED about where he was going.

If lying is her problem, she really shouldn't have set up a P.I to check if he was dishonest. If I were him, I would dump the chick not worth the headache.

I think it might depend on if she had any reason to distrust him in the first place. If she's just sending a PI after him for nothing, then yeah she's pretty low. But if she had some solid reason to believe he was, had, or would be willing to cheat on her then I think she deserved to know the truth.

[KillerGremlin]

Gotta agree with BaBsie here, he should drop that bitch and she should seek therapy for her own trust issues.

[Xantar]

You guys took that one way too seriously. The best response I saw told her to go hook up with a vampire since she enjoys stalkers so much. I mean really, when you've gotten to the point where you think it's a good idea to hire a PI to attempt to seduce your boyfriend, what's the use in even trying to talk sense?

Anyway, here's one that I thought was pretty interesting.

Dear GameTavern,

From an early age, I suspected that I was gay. I had a few pleasurable experiences with women early on, but I knew that I had to pursue my desires for men at some point. So for the past several years, my sex/love/relationship life has been with men, and I've thought of myself as a gay man.

But more recently (maybe for the past two years), I've found myself yearning to be with women in all sorts of ways—fantasies, crushes, even pictures of women in the media. For a while, I thought that it was just the way society wanted me to feel. But I don't think any amount of social pressure would make me feel like a hetero teenage boy.

So what should I do now? Just start dating women? I would love to! But I'm really worried about how they would react when they learned of my sexual history. I'm healthy and have never been promiscuous. When I'm in a relationship, I don't feel the need to sleep with anyone else. But I know that for a lot of women, the moment they found out that I've had male lovers would be the moment they drop me like a hot potato.

It's all so confusing. I know that nobody wants to hear all about who their partners have slept with. But at some point, I would want to be honest with any woman I was dating.

[Vampyr]

I think most women would find the idea of you being bisexual not a bad thing.

[Angrist]

Date a woman, force yourself to tell her within a month or so. After that it looks like you're being dishonest.

[Professor S]

Be open about it and let her think she "turned" you. You'll bang a lot of tail that way.

[magus113]

It's kind of a tough subject but if he wanted to be with a certain someone really bad and they couldn't deal with it then whatever, not worth the trouble. Move on to the next one and be done with it.

[KillerGremlin]

Originally Posted by Professor S

Be open about it and let her think she "turned" you. You'll bang a lot of tail that way.

Good call, good call.