My Scary Internet Adventure

[Bond]

I don't know if anbody knows this, except for Justin, thatmariolover or penguin, but I was an Administrator over at FunXbox several years ago. Anyway, there were a lot of great posters there, but the owner of the site sold it and it went down the shitter. So today I was surfing around and decided to try to find if any of the members started another forum. Well, some guy from the site who must have joined after I left started a forum. So, I thought I'd look around and see what it was like. Well, wish I didn't. Please read these following two posts from him. This is not a joke:

Post One

WARNING: The following is graphic. But in a textual way. It is not intended for children who can read.
IF YOU ARE RELATED TO ME, STOP READING RIGHT NOW. JUST STOP. CLOSE.. Oh, fuck it. Read it if you want.

God. Where do I begin. And before you jump to conclusions, you're wrong. Probably. I can't believe myself what I myself am about to type myself. My god. This will be a separate side thread to the normal Lara threads.

So today at work I get a call from Diane, my co-worker who works at the Police Borough during the day, she calls to ask me if I can come over after work to troubleshoot her computer. She drops in the conversation, "I've got someone I want you to meet. Her name's Gaby and she wants to meet you." Of course little do I know. So I'm talking with Sandy (Diane's co-worker at the station) who says "Diane likes to play matchmaker." We're talking in the back and I tell Sandy my whole story thus far. Then I go on with my day.

At one point during the day I text Lara with a neat "I don't know what else to say that I haven't said already, so I hope you smile anyway." type message and she texts badk near the end of the day "Don't worry, I'm smiling." So I reply with the "I'm not worrying..." and add that Becky and Mike want to meet us and stuff and stuff. No reply from that yet.

So I get to Diane's house and she introduces me to Gaby, who seems like she's as curious as I am. We go in and spend some time with the computer. I turn off the default XP theme (Blue and Green) to Classic and make the resolution of the monitor native so it wasn't blurry and small. And I uninstall Adobe Acrobat Reader which was the whole problem. Solved that one. During the course (This is all on DIALUP) I am explaining to them about the benefits of a Mac and showing them the iPhone and I show Gaby my website and check this forum for replies. No replies.

Then we go into the car to go get dinner. Diane and Gaby and I. And we talk. Thus far Gaby is just not sure what's going on. She's expecting me to say stuff I guess. She quickly learns that I am not usually the talker of the bunch. Diane tries her hardest to get together. I explain to Diane my Lara situation how we aren't "Broken up" as we never got together in the first place and such. Then we all return home.

So we sit at the table, talking about shit, laughing and having a good time, time passes, it's 8PM. It's just me and Gaby talking. And the probing starts. So she digs the WHOLE STORY out of me. All of it. My entire history. "Are you a virgin?" "You've never been with a girl?" "Never been kissed?" the whole thing. This takes a while. At one point we're listening to her iPod shuffle with songs I have never heard before nor wanted to. Stuff like that. She asks me "Is Lara really the one you want to lose your virginity to, though?" I didn't have a real answer for that one. I never thought of it.

She had plans to go to a friends house to sleep over. So she called a friend who is going to pick her up. He won't get there until midnight. So at 11 we go outside to talk as Diane and husband want to go to bed. Of course it's raining... D'OH. So we stand there in the rain and she asks "Do you want to wait in your car?"

I said "Yes." not expecting what was to happen.

So we're in the car.. and we're still talking.. she doesn't get a call from her ride. So she texts him and he replies he can't come. So we're there.. sitting... talking.. oh my god..

The probing continues. She asks me even more personal stuff...

"How long is it?" Now, if you can't tell where that one was going...

She asks what I'm thinking. I say "I don't know what to think." So I ask her, what are you thinking? She replies, "I'm so horny..."



Now, it was not my intention at all to do any of the following. It just happened...

She says "Can I see it?" I reply "Well, it's not hard yet." At this point I am still trying to kind of just get out of this. But at the same time no.. I want this. I WANT THIS. So she says "I can make it hard." She asks me "If I offered you a blowjob right now, would you say no?" I replied "I can honestly say this is the weirdest question that has ever been asked of me." So I said "Yes... what do I do?"

Now, this is a small car.. And that will bite me in the ass later. She tells me to take it out. She asks me "Are you ready?" "Are you sure you want this?" Now, months ago I would have said no. No way. I would have chickened out. What made me say "YES!" is beyond me. So..... you could tell.. well I could tell she was a pro. A horny pro on birth control and all that jazz. My god, I knew what I was getting into earlier that night when her birth control patch started bothering her and she mentioned it. What was going through my head at that moment? "OMG... she's a slut..."

So she works her magic. And I'm keeping my control not to you know.. and she says "Do you want to put it in me?" What was my answer? It didn't start with an N I can tell you that much. So she worked her pants down and said to get on top. So I worked my way over to the other seat. But I was softening fast.

*sigh* Something did not want this to be.

So she worked at it again and said "Do you think if you finger me it might help?" So we tried that. She walked me through it. It was sticky. She was kind of shaved but with stubble. When it was kind of hardish she helped guide it in. But it kept softning and bending. I couldn't get it to stay hard at all. It would soften up as soon as it got even remotely hard.

At one point she said "What do you think might help?" And I said "Can I see your boob?" God, I said BOOB. Like a fucking NOOB.. LOL, pun intended. But she did it. "And they're all real."

She asked me to think of what I like best about porn. That didn't help really.

We tried that. Her nipples were hard. As were mine. She tried rubbing my chest as well. When I was in for a while trying to "you know... finish." and she was screaming my name. Unfortunately it seemed as though it wasn't going to happen. She was coming down and I was still not spent as it were. I am bummed about that. I knew this happened to people and she knew it too. But I just didn't think it would be me.

So she pulled back up her pants. She said "You have any other questions?" And I said "Can I see you again?" We exchanged numbers. And she said "At least you're not a virgin anymore..." I said "I just wish I could have finished." and she said "There's always next time..." Then she kissed me on the cheek and left the car.



What's sadder. Even as I type this now, I am still not aroused. Not hard. NOT UP MAN! WHAT THE HELL? Wow.. But best not to dwell on it. She even said "You don't like men, do you?" I actually had to say no twice. "Are you sure?"

Now, I don't know what was to blame. During the whole thing a few times she said "It's not me, is it?" And I said "No way!" The car was also small, maybe it was the position. If we had more room. A car is not a good place to have sex in my opinion. And I never thought I'd be able to say that. I dunno. I also don't know if it'll happen again. Will she want to try again? This time in a more personal and open setting? (Which I can't think of because it's either my house where there are tons of people, or hers where there are more.) Where do we go from here?

I'll call her on tuesday.

I HAD SNU-SNU!

I'm sorry. I was not expecting anything like this to happen. I didn't wake up this morning thinking "I'm going to have sex today." It was a normal day until about 11:45PM.

For her it was just another time. For me, it was the first time. Ever. I AM NO LONGER A VIRGIN! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD SAY THAT!

I dunno. It just feels wrong though. Because I didn't finish. Am I really not a virgin? Even now as I am typing still I cannot get hard to finish.

P.S. Even though I washed them, my fingers still smell like poon-tang.

Post Two

Well. It's done...

All day I prepared. I told myself it's time to not chicken out this time. I was afraid I would. I figured I'd find an excuse out of it. As I always have.

After work at 8PM, (I waited around for her to get off for 3 extra hours by working a little more) I finally got my "alone time" with her. We walked to her car. I asked her about her new job. She said "meh", told me they had her alone on Friday, etc. I had to move fast. So I asked her.

"Did you get my note?"

She first said no. She said no, she didn't. I reiterated. I said I gave it to JoAnn. She said she handed it to you.

Then she admitted it. She got the letter. But she did not read it. Because she "knew what was in it." I could feel my heart aching at this point. I put so much into it.

She continued. She said "As I told you before, I'm just not ready. And I'm getting tired of people asking about it. The more people pressure me, the more pissed off I get." I broke. I said "I'm sorry.. I didn't know I was pressuring you." She looked at me like "Well, you are." She said with a smile shrug thing "We're friends!" I said one last time. "I don't know why you're not ready." She said "I'm just not ready." I said okay and as I left to my car I said "If you want to read the letter anyway, go ahead."

I got in my car, she got in hers and sped off like a speed freak, I sat for a minute. I started driving. As I was driving I could literally feel my mouth getting into a tight frown. It was actually slowly starting to hurt. I pulled into my driveway and just exploded. Tears were coming out. It was the worst I'd felt since the last time which was 11.5 months ago.

She was smarter than I thought. But why didn't she tell me I was bugging her? I value our friendship a lot. I do anything she asks. I want to be more. But she doesn't. Will she ever? I don't know. But I'm not going to wait anymore.

I'm heartbroken. But rather than hang onto something that can't be or won't be for a long time (Look at the year we just had. If anything ever happens, it's not going to be forever.) I'm going to let it go.

Just let it go.

I look back at this last year and realize all the mistakes I made. Both with Marren and Lara. In fact, my little trist with Gaby seems like less of a mistake. I went about it all completely wrong. And I see that now. I.. well, to put it in the words of The Buzzcocks, I "fell in love with someone I shouldn't have fallen in love with." Twice. Now I got my answer. And now the tears are gone, I know that we will always be friends. And that's all I really wanted. I wanted more, but she didn't. Nothing I can do about it. Anything I do would just drive her into an angry frenzy. So why bother? I can find someone somewhere else. Maybe eventually I'll pick the right person. One who doesn't have some stupid problem.

So tomorrow I'm going to apologize and let her know it's all right. I won't try anymore. I respect her wishes and didn't mean to "pressure" her. I could never truly love someone who really doesn't want it.

Even though it went horribly, it could not have gone any better than it did. It went exactly as it was going to.

So this ends the last final chapter in my year long struggle with heartbreak and unrequited love.

Feel free to reply. I will leave this one open for a while. If anything changes with any aspect, I will write it down. For now, this chapter is closed. It is done. Closure has been had. I wish I had done it 11 months ago though. I wish I had never tried to go after Lara. I wish I had never tried to keep up with Marren. The only difference between the two surprisingly is that Marren was more outspoken. She actually got angry that I kept trying. Lara just felt sorry that she didn't have good news for me. They're like identically complete opposites.

In fact, I might even ask for the letter back.

I have to call Maredith tomorrow and let her know.

[Yoda9864]

Wow, that was quite entertaining.

In what kind of forum do you spill your inner workings like that?...Just a question..

[Bond]

I don't know. But it's scary. Very, very scary.

[Joeiss]

What's a virgin doing hanging out with a married couple?

[Dylflon]

Man...I thought he'd go back after the slutty chick.



That was borderline painful. He's still like a high school student.

[gekko]

Originally Posted by Yoda9864

Wow, that was quite entertaining.

In what kind of forum do you spill your inner workings like that?...Just a question..

It's no different than the people needing to write a book or sing a song expressing their secrets to the world in order to feel closure.

[KillerGremlin]

someone needs to smack this guy and tell him that you can't get poon if you spend your entire day fixating on how you can't get poon. Oh, and no one calls it poon anymore...someone smack him for calling the pussy poon....

[DeathsHand]

Originally Posted by KillerGremlin

Oh, and no one calls it poon anymore...

Andy Stitzer did!

[BreakABone]

I can't believe you folks found my other forum

;-(

[Yoda9864]

Originally Posted by BreakABone

I can't believe you folks found my other forum

;-(

Lol, so the truth comes out!

[Neo]

Originally Posted by Bond

She was coming down and I was still not spent as it were. I am bummed about that. I knew this happened to people and she knew it too. But I just didn't think it would be me.

Trust me, it's much better to have that problem than the other one.

[Perfect Stu]

So yeah, why is this on here again?