Tell me a joke

[Teuthida]

Go.

[ZebraRampage]

Teuthida.

[Teuthida]

Touché.

I need a narrative joke to illustrate for class but would like to hear one that I wouldn't find on one of many joke websites. Thus I am asking here.

[Typhoid]

So I was with this girl the other night, and she said she was tight. And she emphasized the tight. She said she'd tighter than anything ever. So, naturally I was intruiged. We get a few drinks in us and end up in the bed, she takes her pants off, and says so casually "bang me". So I get one finger in, "more" she says. Two fingers, and still, she wants more. Three fingers, four...a whole fist. "More!" she yells. I get my other hand in there, side by side now. "Now try clap" she says. I try. "I-.....I cant" I murmer back. "See, I told you I was tight."





I heard that the other night and didnt really laugh, other than say an "ew..". I felt I'd share.

[Perfect Stu]

A Duck walks into a hardware store and approaches the front desk. It looks at the manager and asks "Do you have any grapes?" and the manager looks back at him in confusion and answers "uh...this is a hardware store. we don't sell food of any kind, let alone grapes". The duck turns around and walks out. The next day the duck returns and asks the manager for some grapes. "Look," the manager said, "we don't have any grapes. No grapes. Please don't ask again". The next day, the same thing. "Listen, duck. If you come back here ONE more time and ask for some grapes, I will nail your beak to this desk." The duck nods and leaves. The very next day, the duck walks back in and asks "Do you have any nails?" and the manager goes "Funny you ask, we actually just ran out". "In that case," the duck says, "do you have any grapes?".

[Fox 6]

A dyslexic man walks in to a bra.

[Happydude]

Originally Posted by Fox 6

A dyslexic man walks in to a bra.