Jury duty

Neo · 03-28-2006, 12:58 PM

So I went to the courthouse for jury selection yesterday morning. The attorneys asked us a bunch of questions and then picked which ones they wanted to sit on the jury. I was hoping I would get chosen but it was not to be. I was so incensed that I stood up and told the judge "OH YEAH!? Well F#CK you, Judge! F#CK YOU AND F#CK THIS COURT!" A guard tried to subdue me but I connected with a palm-strike to the nose which forced pieces of cartilage into his brain, killing him instantly. A 2nd guard tazed me from behind but I shook it off and leg-sweeped him to the ground, cracking his left shoulder blade. Next the court clerk hurled his chair in my direction but I ducked and it hit a pregnant juror in the stomach. She collapsed screaming "My baby, my baby!" I then picked up the tazer and used the wires like a lasso to ring the judge's neck and force her to the ground. I shocked her until the battery died then I escaped out the window and slid down the storm drain to my waiting vehicle. I tore the parking ticket from the wiper blade and shoved it down the meter maid's throat while she gurgled helplessly. Finally I peeled out of the parking lot and tore ass down Congress Ave while screaming racial epithets in the direction from which I came.

It was the best jury experience ever.

DimHalo · 03-28-2006, 02:00 PM

lol... i needed that

DeathsHand · 03-28-2006, 02:44 PM

I got a notice in the mail saying I've been entered into the pool to possibly be selected for jury duty this year... Which made me nervous, on accounta the upcoming (at the time) Moussaoui terrorist deal...

But then it turned out that his fate is being decided in Alexandria (next door), not Arlington :>

Though somewhere down the line, who knows... I may have to break a few noses as well...

Dylflon · 03-28-2006, 05:12 PM

Bored, Neo?

Dyne · 03-28-2006, 05:27 PM

So when do you get your cheque?

GameMaster · 03-28-2006, 05:28 PM

Chuck Norris only uses his powers for truth and honor.

Professor S · 03-28-2006, 06:24 PM

sounds like "doody"

Neo · 03-28-2006, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyne

So when do you get your cheque?

I donated it to the Texas victim's fund or something.

I figured the guards' families would need it more than I.

Jason1 · 03-28-2006, 10:04 PM

I got summoned awhile back. I think I even made a thread about it. Anyways I just sent it back citing I couldnt go because I was a full time student and I was dismissed. I have a feeling they really arent looking for college kids.

MrCoffee · 03-29-2006, 01:13 AM

If I ever get summoned I would bring my cat...and stroke it during the entire trial...it would be funny

my cat is huge...bigger than my dog...hard to list rofl, anyway nice little paragraph there