Blinded

[Vampyr]

"Wounded deep in battle, I stand stuffed like some soldier undaunted
To her cheshire smile I'll stand on file
She's all I ever wanted."

-I Came For You

The worse feeling in the world is regret. Not for the things you do. Those things can be consoled. It's the regret for the things that I don't do that kills me. And here I am, not knowing what to do, again. Sometimes I wish I could read peoples minds, just so I could understand what is expected of me. Whether I should continue on or focus my attention elsewhere. I guess it's one of those uncertainties you have to live with. And I must always remember that no matter what, I can't lose more than I started with.

So tonight is the night of reckoning for me. I'll see how it goes.

I've also realized something else about myself, and I think it pertains to most other people as well. I'll have to watch some people so I can understand it better, but if other people act like me, and I've found that most people seem to act alike, than this theory is true: You hold yourself back from doing the things you crave, just so other people won't know you crave them.

In other news, testing is finally over. School returns to normal for one week. Then we do AP testing, and the week after that the majority of the people in my classes will be gone to New York. Oh happy day. That will be so fun. Then after that, there will only be about 2 weeks of school left. NIICE!

I look forward to summer like never before.