Stupidest things ever said

[Xantar]

Warning: don't read all of these at one sitting. These quotes are best taken a few at a time. I suggest just reading one of the sections, then going away for a while and coming back to read another section when you need cheering up.

Stupidest Things Ever Said by Democrats

"I cook ocassionally just to see how easy women's work is."
--Tip O'Neill (representative from Massachusetts, 1953-1986)

"The Gulf War was like teenage sex. We got in too soon and out too soon."
--Tom Harkin (senator from Iowa, 1985-)

"I stay out of their way at Kmart."
--Willie Brown (mayor of San Francisco), 1996-), asked what he did to help the poor.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.

"I just have no firsthand experience."
--Al Gore, when asked whether today's young women are too promiscuous.

"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist."
--Marion Barry (former mayor of Washington, DC)

Stupidest Things Ever Said by Republicans

"I'll hire blacks as long as they can do the cotton-pickin' job."
--Evan Mecham (governor of Arizona, 1987-1988)

"We're never said to the press that Clinton is a philandering, pot-smoking draft dodger."
--Mary Matalin (1992 Bush deputy campaign manager)

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make the unsafe."
--Frank Rizzo (mayor of Philadelphia, 1972-1980)

"Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25."
--Mary Anne Tebedo (Colorado state senator, 1989-)

"We have every mixture you can have. I have a woman, two Jews, and a cripple."
--James Watt (Secretary of the Interior, 1981-1983), describing an Interior Department advisory group.

Special Dan Quayle Section

[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle on the concept of a manned mission to Mars.

It's the best book I've certainly read. And he goes through it; he starts around the turn of the century up through Vietnam. And it's a very good historical book about history.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle on Paul Johnson's `Modern Times' (Playboy, 1/93)

May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world.
-- The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card.

Add one little bit on the end... Think of `potatoe', how's it spelled? You're right phonetically, but what else...? There ya go... all right!
-- Vice President Dan Quayle correcting a student's correct spelling of the word `potato' during a spelling bee at an elementary school in Trenton.

I should have caught the mistake on that spelling bee card. But as Mark Twain once said, `You should never trust a man who has only one way to spell a word'.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, actually quoting from President Andrew Jackson.

I should have remembered that was Andrew Jackson who said that, since he got his nickname `Stonewall' by vetoing bills passed by Congress.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, confusing Andrew Jackson with Confederate General Thomas J. `Stonewall' Jackson, who actually got his nickname at the first Battle of Bull Run.

We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

I have made good judgments in the Past.
I have made good judgments in the Future.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

More Dan Quayle goodness to come in this topic

Special Yogi Berra Section

"It ain't over 'til it's over "

"Never answer an anonymous letter"

" I usually take a two hour nap from one to four"

" It's deja vu all over again"

" When you come to a fork in the road....Take it "

" I didn't really say everything I said "

" You can observe a lot by watching "

When asked what time is was......" you mean now?"

At Yogi Berra day in St Louis 1947 " I want to thank you for making this day necessary"

" If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be "

Yogi on the 1969 NY Mets....." overwhelming underdogs "

" If the people don't want to come out to the ballpark, nobody's going to stop them "

On why NY lost the 1960 series to Pittsburgh " We made to many wrong mistakes"

" The future ain't what it used to be "

" It gets late early out here"

[Revival]

LMAO! I love those Dan Quayle ones.. he is such a moron, but is so funny!

[Gamer]

LOL. It gets late early out here...lol

[Ginkasa]

I found those unintelligent quotes to be extremely humorous...

[Jason1]

When asked what time is was......" you mean now?"



I love it.

[Xantar]

Oh yeah, I'm going to update this topic every week. I'm trying to make it a regular mainstay of the Black Project Forum. So every Monday, I'm going to put up some more quotes. I can probably keep it going for a long time. There are a lot of stupid quotes out there.

[N8]

Special Al Gore Section

"During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the internet."

[gekko]

Why no Ventura section?

[Blackmane]

Lol, this is funny stuff. I used to have a long list of dumb Al Gore quotes, you should put some of those up if you have any. I can't remember most of them.

[Cyrax9]

" It's deja vu all over again"

This is my favorite! You still need a section for President George . Bush, Al gore, and former president Bill Clinton.

The Dan Quayle ones were also great.

[Ridley]

"The future is coming" - Gamemaster2002 (plus many others)

j/k if you can read this Gamemaster

[Xantar]

Bah. I can't wait until Monday to post this one. Maybe I'll post another section later this week, too. We'll see how much time I get.

Special lawyer section

The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court
records nationwide.

1) Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

2) Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in
most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about
it until the next morning?

3) Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify
me.'
Q: Did he kill you?

4) Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

5) The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

6) Were you alone or by yourself.

7) How long have you been a French Canadian?

8) Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

9) Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

10) Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

11) Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

12) Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on November 8.
Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?

13) Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

14) So you were gone until you returned?

15) Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there girls?

16) You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like,
but can you describe it?

17) Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

18) Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

19) A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a
stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like
to strike the next question."

20) Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body
of Mr. Edington at the rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy!

[Revival]

Those are awesome Xantar..

[BreakABone]

Well damn Xanny those are funnie as hell.. Here are some sports one taken from my site...

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-Jason Kidd

"Are you any relation to your brother Marv?"
-Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert

"It's almost like we have ESPN."
-Magic Johnson, on how well he and James Worthy work together

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during
his visit to Greece.

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to
be an uncle or an aunt."
-Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at
practice, 1982.

"Tom."
-Tom Nissalke, New coach of the NBA's Houston Rockets, when
asked how he pronounced his name, 1966.

"I'll always be Number 1 to myself."
-Moses Malone

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
-Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

[Joeiss]

Hahaha!!! Those are hillarious, BAB! "I don't know if I'll be an uncle or an aunt"!!!!!