Battle Royale Part2

[Vampyr]

Very good so far, Dyflon.

You are very good at creating suspense, and the fact that I could die at any moment makes it even more supsenseful. I think what your story need is more adjectives. Was happydude666's nose erupting with blood? Adjectives are one of most important things in writing a story.

I consider myself a writer, so this isnt bad criticism. If you like to write a lot, than you know that criticism is the best thing in the world, it can make a story flawless. Also, maybe you should try to write one really good story ever one or two days.

BTW, have you ever read a short story called "The Most Dangerous Game" its a lot like this, and very good.

[Dylflon]

Originally Posted by Vampyr

Very good so far, Dyflon.

You are very good at creating suspense, and the fact that I could die at any moment makes it even more supsenseful. I think what your story need is more adjectives. Was happydude666's nose erupting with blood? Adjectives are one of most important things in writing a story.

I consider myself a writer, so this isnt bad criticism. If you like to write a lot, than you know that criticism is the best thing in the world, it can make a story flawless. Also, maybe you should try to write one really good story ever one or two days.

BTW, have you ever read a short story called "The Most Dangerous Game" its a lot like this, and very good.

Thanks for the feedback! I'll go into gory detail next time!

[Rndm_Perfection]

Originally Posted by Vampyr

BTW, have you ever read a short story called "The Most Dangerous Game" its a lot like this, and very good.

Oh yeah, that's the name of the story... Surviving the Game was based on it. However, I felt surviving the game to be more similar because it is... err, "modernized". Ice Cube, or whatever he was... bwuahah.

[GameMaster]

I read that story in eigth and ninth grade, it send chills and shivers down me spine.

[Joeiss]

Sweet, I killed Happydude with a pot lid. That must have been really bloody.