Are you going to spank your future children?

[KillerGremlin]

Originally Posted by Typhoid

Now, back to the topic of spanking. It really bugs me when people say "I spanked my kid", and someone else pipes up with "You hit your child?" as if a smack on the bum is on par with whipping a little girl with a belt, or backhanding your son across the face. It even bugs me when people refer to spanking as "hitting". Sure, it's hitting - but you're not hitting your child. If I spank my girlfriend, I'm not beating her. I'm spanking her. Sure, it's a different context, but still.

I got the backhand and the belt. Of course if you ask my parents, "we only spanked you!" So it goes both ways, and I see where people are coming from when they react to spanking by asking if you hit your child. But to reiterate what you stated, a square is a rectangle, and spanking is hitting. And parents sometimes do hit their kids, even if it is on the butt. I have seen parents lose it and fly off the handle, unfortunately.

Child protective services sits on the cautionary side too. I know because we call them a lot at my internship over abuse (sexual, physical, and the highly ambiguous verbal). Anything closed-fist or with an object raises an immediate red flag that could be punishable by law (read in super fast commercial voice: may vary by state, your mileage will vary).

I've heard that spanking works best to immediately instill concepts in children. If your kid is about to run into oncoming traffic, you can grab them, and spank them on the butt! "Don't run into the street without looking both ways!" In terms of correcting other problems, evidence might suggest that spanking is less effective if not detrimental to long-term behavior correction when compared to other methods.

[Professor S]

KG, I certainly sympathize with much of your argument on this, and 99% of the time punishment should not involve spanking. But when worse comes to worse, a child can simply refuse to comply with any punishments you lay on them.

Go to your room.

No.

Take a time-out.

No. I'm going to do whatever I want.

You no longer have an allowance.

I'll just take it out of your wallet.

This is why, in the end, all rules are enforced with violence. You just hope it never comes to that point and you should exhaust all other techniques first.

And for the record, I think reasoning with a child works wonderfully. Children inherently do not want to misbehave, but they want to communicate how they feel, but don't have the skills to do so. Help them. Teach them. That's what you're there for.

[Angrist]

Originally Posted by Professor S

And for the record, I think reasoning with a child works wonderfully. Children inherently do not want to misbehave, but they want to communicate how they feel, but don't have the skills to do so. Help them. Teach them. That's what you're there for.

Thanks. For a while I thought I was pretty much all alone on this.