Typhoid's Advice Column

[Typhoid]

Dear Xantar's post which I am trying to respond to as if it was serious,

You done fucked up. There isn't much more to it than that. If you want to be with someone and possibly marry them, you shouldn't admit to the growing desire to stick your dick in other human beings, along with her. Girls want to be special. Hell, everyone wants to feel special. And "I love you baby, I want to marry you. I just want to pump other pieces of meat, too" doesn't really have that "Cinderella" charm to it.


Begrudgingly yours, Typh.

[Bond]

Dear Typhoid,

This summer I will be starting an internship at a financial services company. The dress code is classified as business casual Monday through Thursday, with dress down on Friday. I have a fair amount of "business causal" clothing, but am always looking for better things to wear. Do you have any suggestions as to business causal essentials? Or perhaps particular brands you would recommend?

Thanking you sincerely,
Bond

[Dylflon]

Dear Typhoid,

I am in a serious relationship and have been for the past 4 and a half years. We seriously plan to get married but there is one thing I'm wondering if I should consider first.

We've never had any serious fights in the time we've been dating and we're pretty much perfect for each other so I feel like we'll be fine, but do you think we should live together for a while to establish that dynamic and confirm we're compatible in that way (which I believe we will be) before I pop the question?

Sincerely,

Dylan


P.S. I will also accept advice from Strangler because he is married.

[Typhoid]

Originally Posted by Bond

Dear Typhoid,

This summer I will be starting an internship at a financial services company. The dress code is classified as business casual Monday through Thursday, with dress down on Friday. I have a fair amount of "business causal" clothing, but am always looking for better things to wear. Do you have any suggestions as to business causal essentials? Or perhaps particular brands you would recommend?

Thanking you sincerely,
Bond

Dear Bond,

I'll level with you. I'm not up on brands. So I can't really be much help there. I would just suggest that you don't wear tan khakis, or any light blue pinstripe shirts. As the 80's are now over. Stick with black or very dark pants always. Maybe throw on a really slick looking blazer on some days. As long as you feel comfortable, and remember that they're just the clothes you work in. It's not a competition, it's just a job.

Apologetically yours, Typh.

[Typhoid]

Originally Posted by Dylflon

Dear Typhoid,

I am in a serious relationship and have been for the past 4 and a half years. We seriously plan to get married but there is one thing I'm wondering if I should consider first.

We've never had any serious fights in the time we've been dating and we're pretty much perfect for each other so I feel like we'll be fine, but do you think we should live together for a while to establish that dynamic and confirm we're compatible in that way (which I believe we will be) before I pop the question?

Sincerely,

Dylan

Dear Dylflon,

I highly suggest living with someone before you ask to marry them. It isn't the 70's or 80's anymore. Living together before marriage is the norm, if not completely required in my mind. Seeing someone every day - whether you love them or not - is a very different thing than seeing them a few days a week when you're free, where you both have your own space to retreat to if needed. Most major fights don't actually occur until a couple lives together, because the stress of seeing someone every day, mixed with bills of various sorts, on top of work and/or school can be overwhelming at times. I would suggest you live together before hand especially if you've never had a major fight. Now, because I know you, in no way am I saying it wouldn't work out - I'm just saying that you should live together before to at least get the fights out of the way - in a sense. Like a practice run that you expect to work out. Fights are inevitable. They will happen. And if you've never had them, you're not used to them, which means you (collective you) won't react rationally to them. Rushing into anything is never a good idea.

Now, I'm well aware that she really wants to get married. Don't let that pressure you into anything really fast. We are very young, still. Getting married before living together when you've never had a fight seems silly in a way. Relationships need fights. And I'm afraid for you. Because typically the longer a relationship goes without a fight, the bigger it will be. Sort of like if you hold off your load for a while.

I would suggest instead of asking her to marry you as you were planning on it, ask her to move in with you - err, moreso ask her to move out with you. You have to walk before you run.


Gravity defyingly yours, Typh.

[manasecret]

Originally Posted by Typhoid

Dear Dylflon,

I highly suggest living with someone before you ask to marry them. It isn't the 70's or 80's anymore. Living together before marriage is the norm, if not completely required in my mind. Seeing someone every day - whether you love them or not - is a very different thing than seeing them a few days a week when you're free, where you both have your own space to retreat to if needed. Most major fights don't actually occur until a couple lives together, because the stress of seeing someone every day, mixed with bills of various sorts, on top of work and/or school can be overwhelming at times. I would suggest you live together before hand especially if you've never had a major fight. Now, because I know you, in no way am I saying it wouldn't work out - I'm just saying that you should live together before to at least get the fights out of the way - in a sense. Like a practice run that you expect to work out. Fights are inevitable. They will happen. And if you've never had them, you're not used to them, which means you (collective you) won't react rationally to them. Rushing into anything is never a good idea.

Now, I'm well aware that she really wants to get married. Don't let that pressure you into anything really fast. We are very young, still. Getting married before living together when you've never had a fight seems silly in a way. Relationships need fights. And I'm afraid for you. Because typically the longer a relationship goes without a fight, the bigger it will be. Sort of like if you hold off your load for a while.

I would suggest instead of asking her to marry you as you were planning on it, ask her to move in with you - err, moreso ask her to move out with you. You have to walk before you run.


Gravity defyingly yours, Typh.

Amen, brother.

[Dylflon]

Well we argue every so often and get mad at each other but I mean, we've never had a big fight where we didn't want to talk to one another afterwards or where the future of our relationship is called into question. That's more of what I meant.

I say not trusting to make a commitment until having a major fight seems like a weird argument.

[Typhoid]

Originally Posted by Dylflon

Well we argue every so often and get mad at each other but I mean, we've never had a big fight where we didn't want to talk to one another afterwards or where the future of our relationship is called into question. That's more of what I meant.

I say not trusting to make a commitment until having a major fight seems like a weird argument.

In lieu of derailing my own thread; all I will say are these two things:

1) Don't ask for advice if you are going to refute the advice given if it's not what you want to hear. The point of this thread is for people to ask me an outside opinion of a serious topic, non-serious topic, or mundane problem. Not an open discussion about why someone disagrees with someone else over what-have-you.
2) I didn't say don't make a commitment until you get into a huge fight. I was saying don't dive into something before you've even lived together. I wasn't saying it won't work out. Nor was I saying it's a terrible idea. Just don't get ahead of yourself. Horse->Cart.

Also: I will delete any further rebuttles (not directed at you) in this thread to A) keep it clean B) keep it on track.

[Acebot44]

Originally Posted by Typhoid

Dear Ace,

I would say with a year of of school/work, where you will be going into more school after that year is up, take the time to do something you really want to do. Be it relaxing, traveling, learning a skill such as speed reading, spending more time with friends/family or just doing generally nothing at all. I wouldn't advise doing a strict workout regimen with your 'time off'. Throw some weight lifting into that year, sure - but don't make weight lifting the focal point of your spare time.

I would say generally your list is a good list, considering it is a list of things you want to accomplish with your time. Now, not being you I can't say which you should or shouldn't do specifically, because - well, I am not you. I would say maybe try a little bit of all of it, while still having ample time to do nothing and just take it easy. Enjoy life. Relax. Breathe. Everyone is in such a rush to get set up for retirement that nobody really enjoys the little things that life offers when you slow it down and stop worrying about the future, or things you could be doing to benefit your career instead. However, hobbies are a great way to not only have fun, but have a sense of accomplishment.

Omnipotently yours, Typh.

Thanks Typh,

I'll try to sit back, relax, and smell the roses

[Bond]

Dear Typhoid,

One of my life goals is to ask a stranger on a date. I think I found the perfect girl: she is attractive, in my music class, and I have sat by her once and spoken only a few sentences to her. How would you advise going about this death defying stunt that I will get major street cred for if I succeed?

Thankfully yours,
Bond

[Typhoid]

Originally Posted by Bond

Dear Typhoid,

One of my life goals is to ask a stranger on a date. I think I found the perfect girl: she is attractive, in my music class, and I have sat by her once and spoken only a few sentences to her. How would you advise going about this death defying stunt that I will get major street cred for if I succeed?

Thankfully yours,
Bond

Dear Bond,

Assuming you get on with this girl just fine, my advice would to be just ask her out. As long as you're not entirely random to her, meaning you have had conversations before and you both at least know each others names - just ask her if she's free on a certain night to do something. Barring her being a stuck up bitch or in a relationship already, I don't see how that can go bad.

However if you're apprehensive about it because you've barely talked, maybe don't ask her out on a 'date' - just ask her out one night if that would be more comfortable for you. Sometimes saying "Would you like to go on a date with me?" and "Are you free to hang out later?" get very different reactions, despite being practically the exact same thing.

I say just ask her. You don't have much to lose.

Angel Touchingly yours, Typh.

[KillerGremlin]

Dear Typhoid,

Today I had an interesting discussion with someone who is in an open relationship. A polyamorous relationship...if you will. Now I am quite happy in my monogamous relationship and have no plans of changing that. I realized that my life is somewhat normal, so I was wondering if you think Polyamory can work in general or if it is doomed from the start. I find this subject intriguing since I plan to go into couples counseling.

You wettest, greenest, and fed after midnight,
KillerGremlin

[Typhoid]

Originally Posted by KillerGremlin

Dear Typhoid,

Today I had an interesting discussion with someone who is in an open relationship. A polyamorous relationship...if you will. Now I am quite happy in my monogamous relationship and have no plans of changing that. I realized that my life is somewhat normal, so I was wondering if you think Polyamory can work in general or if it is doomed from the start. I find this subject intriguing since I plan to go into couples counseling.

You wettest, greenest, and fed after midnight,
KillerGremlin

Dear KG,

I think more than one 'partner' - if you will, is a good idea if you're around the age of 21. However, this all changes if you're with someone who you'd enjoy being with the rest of your life. I believe it can work, only if your set values and morals fit that lifestyle. It isn't something you can really spring on someone when they're 24 by segueing in with "Oh...by the way...". Realistically I think the preference goes person-to-person. Maybe some are born with the want of multiple partners/families at once, or maybe some want it for various reasons such as family, power, or no reason at all. Of course, that goes for monogamy as well. I think deep down we're monogamous. If we're not traumatized and have no underlying psychological problems, I believe monogamy is what everyone wants. Most 'sane' and credible people are married to only one person at a time. Does this give it validity? Not really. That just makes it normal for us, and for our culture. It's not really something you can talk someone into, or out of. And if you can, God help us all.

- Fear and Loathingly yours, Typh.

[TheSlyMoogle]

Originally Posted by Bond

Dear Gay Man who Appreciates fashion,

This summer I will be starting an internship at a financial services company. The dress code is classified as business casual Monday through Thursday, with dress down on Friday. I have a fair amount of "business causal" clothing, but am always looking for better things to wear. Do you have any suggestions as to business causal essentials? Or perhaps particular brands you would recommend?

Thanking you sincerely,
Bond

Dear Bond,

I'm stealing this, because I do keep up on brands.

First, depends on what the company means by "Business Casual"

A lot of companies these days consider business casual as dress Jeans and a nice shirt. However most consider business casual as slacks and a nice shirt. Think you need to also find out whether the company allows polos, especially for the summer. Most companies are ok with polos now. However I suggest on your first day you choose a nice dress shirt, preferably long sleeves. I scoff at the people who wear short sleeve dress shirts. For the love of god those have never been ok.

1st do you plan to wear a tie? If so, I suggest you do not get the clip on kind or the pre-tied kind. So tacky. If you don't know how to tie up your tie, there are a ton of online tutorials and massive amount of youtube videos. There are several ways to tie one, but my fave is the one that creates a nice triangle with the knot. Little more complex than the standard, but and awesome knot.

If you do decide on a tie, next decide whether you plan on spending quite a bit of money on a few nice ties or getting multiple ties for less money. When I decide to get a new tie I usually either try to find them on sale (Macy's has tie sells all the time, especially as they go out of season), or I shop here:

http://www.thetiebar.com/?gclid=CNKa...FRBM5QodYClRaw

The ties are honestly of great quality, and pretty much everything is 15 dollars. Trust me much better than the shit you find at JCPenney for 20 bucks. They have some awesome styles too.

If you're looking for the newest trendy kinda stuff, I suggest Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfiger for ties. They always make superb stuff, but you're looking at paying anywhere from 50-100 dollars for one of these. Let's not even get into serious designer ties. I will say that I own 3 RL and 3 TH ties, and each RL tie was 30 dollars on sale at Macy's and each TH tie was 30 bucks on sale at Macy's during different times of the season. They are great ties.

Also this tie is so hot:

http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/i...SEO_GoogleBase

Very stylish

Now onto the pants.

If you're just going to be wearing the pants you get to work, then this is an area where you can slack on some spendage. If, however, you plan on wearing these for multiple occasions I say get some high quality stuff.

Also I highly disagree with Typhoid on the Brown/Tan pants. It's very dependent on skin tone usually what colors you can wear, and khaki colors can pretty much be pulled off by anyone. Also Khaki can be worn with many more shirt colors than black, especially brighter colors. However for any business attire please stay away from clothes that don't fit you. It's so tacky. I wouldn't think you would betray me like that though bonder, even in non-business type settings. Baggy is tacky to the max. Also pinstripe isn't exactly out of the question either, it kinda made a comeback, and in the business world it never went away. I highly suggest khaki colors actually.

For the work stuff, I would say hit up discount stores. TJ Maxx or places of the such usually have stuff at a highly discounted price, with some name brand stuff that maybe is missing a stitch here or lose thread there. Generally it's stuff that barely failed QC. Sometimes it's hard to find your size if you wear a particularly weird size like me (30-34 is just non-existent basically, I need to pack on some poundage).

If you plan on wearing the stuff outside of the work environment, maybe school stuff etc. (When I joined a fraternity I was dressing up like every sunday for some event), then I suggest getting fancy. I'm a huge fan of clothes from banana republic for business stuff, but they can get pretty pricey.

http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse...ry.do?cid=5381

Also no pockets on the sides of your legs, no pockets with flaps, all pockets should be inside.

However if BR is too pricey (Definitely is for me, though when I decide to splurge on clothes I generally go here), then surprising places like American Eagle, Abercrombie, Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister etc. often carry trendy dress pants, or pants that would be acceptable for business casual, for under 50 dollars, and if you catch them at the right time, even cheaper (Like right now before the summer stuff starts heavily). Usually you have to visit the store for that kind of shopping though, as online generally the sales suck and the selection is generally the lastest styles. Stores generally carry the newest stuff, and stuff that was leftover from last season or before.

If it's something you really don't want to go too out of the way on, but still want to get something quality, Dockers are always acceptable, and they even make some dockers that don't have that little logo on the butt. Hooray!

Shirts:

I'm a huge fan of button up dress shirts with long sleeves. For me they're quite possibly the most versatile piece of clothing. It's something you can not only wear to work and it's totally cool, but also you can wear it out to the club later that night if you loosen up a few buttons and slap a graphics tee on underneath. Loose fitting tie, some jeans, untucked, and sleeves rolled up to the elbows and you're styling. Polos have become sorta business casual as well, but like I said, you should wait and see how that goes over at your workplace. Often times a dress shirt is more comfortable and cooler than a polo anyway, and no one ever complains if you roll up the sleeves.

I highly enjoy Abercrombie and Fitch for Dress shirts. They always have some great styles, quality material. I have A&F shirts that I've had for 3 or 4 years now that still don't show signs of wear. Generally they have a small little icon on the pocket but doubt anyone would say anything about that.

Banana republic, American Eagle, Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren's Polo line. Always generally good quality stuff with great style.

As far as polos go it gets really tricky. Generally the only designer I suggest is Ralph Lauren as far as business polos. Banana Republic just generally has ugly polos, and AE and AF tend to slap giant logos, wacky colors and huge collars on their polos.

Once again if you're shopping cheap, I highly suggest Discount clothing stores over stuff like JC Penny. Generally can find a lot of nice looking dress shirts and polos for cheap. Also for business never ever go plaid. Vertical stripes and solids only. Also no vertical stripes over an inch wide, pinstripes are good. If you do choose black pants, please consider this in your color selection with shirts.

http://www.abercrombie.com/webapp/wc...12213_-1_12202

http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse...y.do?cid=44866

http://www.ae.com/web/browse/categor...catId=cat40005

http://www.ralphlauren.com/family/in...s1_dressshirts

Be sure to match tie color to shirt. By match I mean often times it's great to pick a tie that clashes with your shirt, or compliments it. Like black shirts go great with bright ties.

As far as shoes go, I say go with something completely comfortable. The most comfortable pair of dress shoes I own came from one Doc Marten himself 4 years ago and they've held up great. I paid around 80 dollars for them, but I've seriously worn these shoes at least 2/3 of the year for the last 4 years, hell I'm wearing them right now and they've always been this comfortable. Also make sure they match the pants. Brown for khaki black for black. Also make sure you never wear white socks. Make sure the socks are dress style and match the pants as well, because I can think the most embarrassing thing ever would be to cross your leg and show that you're wearing white socks.

Also if you're a heavy sweater, Undershirts are a must. No one wants to see your sweaty pits. Ick.

EDIT:

I just ordered this tie. Thanks Bond.

http://www.thetiebar.com/order_page....&boysTiesOnly=

[Acebot44]

Originally Posted by TheSlyMoogle

I just ordered this tie. Thanks Bond.

http://www.thetiebar.com/order_page....&boysTiesOnly=

Thats a flippin sweet tie. Good pick up