why would you get married?

[thatmariolover]

Originally Posted by TheSlyMoogle

I couldn't get married even if I wanted to.

Marriage is a silly social construct to me. I mean it's nothing but a piece of paper.

Socially you get:

Tax breaks
Better Benefits
Better chance at getting credit and stuff.

Why should Marriage be "The Next Step"? Saying it is, it's like saying before you were engaged or married that you would have less on your conscious cheating on your significant other than you would after you were married or something?

I mean, it's only natural to get married because society made it that way. It's "Normal" and so most people who are straight end up doing it.

I also think it's silly that people get extra benefits and perks for signing a piece of fucking paper. Why should those people get benefits that the person who remains single cannot?

I also find people who say that life with their other is so much better after marriage than before... well they're just dumb. I mean honestly what did you do besides have some ceremony, get some rings, and sign a paper that made things any different? Other than perhaps the said commitment in front of people I don't see how that changes things. Look at us we're married, we're committed, we're going to be together now forever. How is that any different than just telling people "Hey this is my gf/bf and I love them, we're going to be together forever." It's not, just option 2 cost a lot less.

Unfortunately society is structured to provide so many perks towards signing that piece of paper that people feel pressured to do so. I mean yeah if you love someone and you're straight or live in a state where gay marriage is legal, fuck yeah, do it. Fuck the system and get more free benefits and shit off my tax money, yet never allow me the right to do it.

So in short...

I think marriage is lame. Just a fucking term. Your ring, your paper, it's all bullshit to me. I feel that if society wasn't so structured toward marriage, if it was stripped of its benefits and perks I feel you would see a lot less marriage.

That's one side of the coin. I think the other side is that it is a ceremonial gesture that you are committed. It doesn't negate or belittle the commitment that you hopefully felt before getting married, but there is a certain amount of pride in finding a significant other to spend your life with.

There are so many parts to marriage. Love, Romance, Intimacy, Sex, Procreation, Trust and dozens more. Shouldn't you be proud of your spouse? Shouldn't you want to tell the world 'I am Man, and I have continued the cycle'?

I think your frustration is tied to the fact that government has too big a hand in marriage. And I would agree with you. But don't let that embitter you to marriage. Marriage is what you make it.

As for myself, I would get married if I could find the right girl. But I will not settle for familiar or easy. And the fear of being alone has not troubled me yet. I admit, it's discouraging when you meet so many girls that want to rush into marriage with the first guy to tie a string to their heart. I'm not afraid of being alone, but I want to find somebody to spend my time with because it makes life better. I need to find a girl that thinks along the same lines, and at 23 there just aren't many of them.

[ZebraRampage]

Originally Posted by thatmariolover

As for myself, I would get married if I could find the right girl. But I will not settle for familiar or easy. And the fear of being alone has not troubled me yet. I admit, it's discouraging when you meet so many girls that want to rush into marriage with the first guy to tie a string to their heart. I'm not afraid of being alone, but I want to find somebody to spend my time with because it makes life better. I need to find a girl that thinks along the same lines, and at 23 there just aren't many of them.

I feel the same way as you. I've been single for about a month now, and I'm not afraid of being alone, but it does kind of suck not having someone to be intimate with and spend time with.

You're also right about how tough it is to find the right girl for you, especially if you want somebody unique, and who thinks the same way, and probably has similar mannerisms. I'm looking for the same thing, because I know that that will make me feel even closer to her, which will make me feel more comfortable, like I am with my family. So in the end, hopefully she'll feel like family to me.

Maybe that's another way of interpreting why you'd get married too. Maybe it's just all about the continuation of family. I believe that this point was kind of said already, and I did read all the posts, but it was a while ago and I don't feel like going through them again to see if someone else said it. Anyway, I kind of blanked out now, so maybe I'll come back later and add some more thoughts.