Favorite conversation:
HARTMAN: How tall are you, Private?
COWBOY: Sir, five foot nine, sir!
HARTMAN: Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?
COWBOY: Sir, no, sir.
HARTMAN: Bullsh*t! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated!
HARTMAN: Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
COWBOY: Sir, Texas, sir!
HARTMAN: Holy dogsh*t! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks!
COWBOY: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: Are you a peter-puffer?
COWBOY: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fu*k a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!
And my favorite quote:
HARTMAN: You climb obstacles like old people fu*k!
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