How do you know?

DimHalo · 05-10-2005, 07:57 PM

How do you know when you are spending too much time with your significant other?

This is my question of the night (because it is something I'm having trouble with). Let me know what you all think.

Feel free to add to or expand this as you see fit. Or to ask your own questions.

Happydude · 05-10-2005, 08:12 PM

trouble in paradise?

i say, ask him!...why beat around the bush, ask him if he wants more time a lone or with his buddies or whatever, and you tell him what you feel....AND BE HONEST!

other than that i can't really say anything else...good luck

Su-Yin · 05-10-2005, 08:18 PM

i think everyone has thier own limits......something too much for one person mihgt not b too much for someone else....so depends on your personality...and of course preferences of your significant other *shrug*

GameMaster · 05-10-2005, 08:48 PM

When spending time with them begins to feel like a chore or obligation.

Does this have to do with Jeepnut, oh my goodness, please don't tell me you guys are sailing rough waters!

Dyne · 05-10-2005, 09:29 PM

Well, as long as spending time together is fun and productive to the relationship, you can have as much as you want. Where it gets problematic is when you both start getting too clingy and insecure without your significant other. You should always leave eachother wanting more or else your attraction is going to drop dead - and that leads to unfavourable cutoffs and hard feelings.

And you shouldn't hesitate to put time aside for friends. It's not absolutely mandatory, though. It always depends on the people.

Typhoid · 05-10-2005, 09:30 PM

You know you're spending too much time with anyone, it doesn't matter if they are your boyfriend, girlfriend, or bestfriend, you'll know it's been too much time together when you start having pointless arguments, and get bored around the other.

DimHalo · 05-11-2005, 12:47 AM

Well, Happydude said to ask him. I have, but we disagree on the matter. That's why I brought it up here. He says he spends too much time with me.

So when he went out tonight he didn't want me around. But the way I see it, if we're hanging out with other people, why is it a problem that I am there? I wouldn't mind if he wanted to go out with me and my friends (especially if it wasn't an issue for the other friends). I mean, there are even some people he is out with that I am friends with too.

Su-Yin · 05-11-2005, 04:12 AM

im guessing its cause sometimes guys like some time alone to hang out with thier buddies....girls dont really need that kinda space...the more attention thhe better...thats y guys have poker nights and football games ....console nights...etc. where girls arent invited
i really wont b able to understand what your're going through cause i currently dont get enough of happydude

js...i dont think he loves you any less or doesnt appreciate your company...i bet he loves having you around..its just a matter of comng to a compromise

Ace195 · 05-11-2005, 06:55 AM

Just do this, just go out with your friends and when Jeepnut comes around, then be like well sorry.. ASS... Wait, don't take my opinion I'm bitter...

Stray_Bullet · 05-11-2005, 09:20 AM

Even the best of friends can't spend time together 24/7. Too much of a good thing can get tiresome and degrade in value.

Perhaps he does need some time with less contact with you. It could revive some old feelings.

Whatever the case, though, don't blame yourself.

I hope this is nothing serious, and that you're simply concerned because this is the first sign of anything less than great.

DimHalo · 05-11-2005, 09:32 AM

It is an issue that comes up because he complains a lot about us not doing stuff with other people (when we hang out it is usually just the two of us), because its dificult to make plans with people. So when an opportunity arises to hang out with people, we're all over it. But it is usally a situation when he wants to go with out me. So I'm left not doing anything because it comes up so late that I can't call up the girls to do something.

But you guys have a point, about him just wanting some time alone. That is what he was saying too. I guess I lost this argument then, huh?

Perfect Stu · 05-11-2005, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeepnut's slave

It is an issue that comes up because he complains a lot about us not doing stuff with other people (when we hang out it is usually just the two of us), because its dificult to make plans with people. So when an opportunity arises to hang out with people, we're all over it. But it is usally a situation when he wants to go with out me. So I'm left not doing anything because it comes up so late that I can't call up the girls to do something.

But you guys have a point, about him just wanting some time alone. That is what he was saying too. I guess I lost this argument then, huh?

you cant lose in an 'arguement' like this one...

I wont pretend to speak for 'all guys', but when it comes to me, time with the boys is necessary. If I spent a large majority of time with females (no matter how much I loved them), it would eventually drive me nuts. There has to be balance, IMO. Poker nights are a godsend.

The best advice I can give is to NOT take it personally, because it's not a reflection of his feelings towards you.

DimHalo · 05-11-2005, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perfect Stu

you cant lose in an 'arguement' like this one...

I wont pretend to speak for 'all guys', but when it comes to me, time with the boys is necessary. If I spent a large majority of time with females (no matter how much I loved them), it would eventually drive me nuts. There has to be balance, IMO. Poker nights are a godsend.

The best advice I can give is to NOT take it personally, because it's not a reflection of his feelings towards you.

You've got a point there. But last night was not his "time with the boys." In fact, he was the only guy there. It was all girls.

Perfect Stu · 05-11-2005, 05:37 PM

well, like I said, I cant speak for everyone. my 'time with the boys' was just my own perspective, my own example. Im sure you can draw parallels...especially because you DID say "you've got a point there"

im sure everything's fine JS, just keep truckin'

Su-Yin · 05-11-2005, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeepnut's slave

You've got a point there. But last night was not his "time with the boys." In fact, he was the only guy there. It was all girls.

now iget it....*hug* sigh..now i understand how you feel

....id b worse ina situation like that...i think this goes to show...nomatter how composed/matured/independant a girl is...she cant help freaking out a lil when her significant other is having fun amongst other girls.
i personally feel its not the jealousy or lack of trust...its more of the fear of temptation ruining that trust.
correct me if im wrong