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Re: IGN article
Old 03-12-2005, 09:30 PM   #1
Professor S
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Default Re: IGN article

All I can say is that the moves that Microsoft is making for the next console has me shaking my head. The Xbox made several great steps forward for consoles with the improvement on the Dreamcast style controller triggers, standard four controller ports and the inclusion of an HD with every Xbox.

Now it seems that not only is Microsoft not moving forward with new innovations, but they are removing the ones they already had and traipsing down the failure ridden road of "too many peripherals". I imagine this was what the final green light meeting for the next Xbox was like

Quote:
Bill Gates - "Well we made a great splash with the Xbox, Jay. What do you have planned for the next gen console?"

Jay Allard - "Now stay with me here: I say we remove two of the controller ports, get rid of those annoyingly pressure sensitive, oh-too-comfortable and intuitive triggers on the controller and finally... wait for it... make the HD OPTIONAL... so that developers will never feel comfortable including its use in gameplay because they won't have every NextBox owner able to play their games!!!"

Bill Gates - "Jay... I can't believe what you just said... BRILLIANT!! By removing some of the best aspects of our console, especially the ones that differentiated our console from the others, we'll be sure to rule the next generation of home gaming. But here's what we need to do to really stand out:

"1) Make the disc drive optional. Sure, if they don't get it the customers can't play any games, but think of the PERIPHERAL SALES.

"2) Forget backward compatibility... we'll just remove forward compatibility. We'll drop down to a 16 bit system and revive Sonic the Hedgehog and Altered Beast, BUT give the ability to play used Intellivision cartridges.

"3) For every unit sold, we'll include a coupon for a "FREE chest dumping" from a Singapore whore.

...

"and oh yeah, slap some handles on that mother ****er. Not just one, because that would not be redundant enough. We'll need at least two so that we'll be TWICE as portable as the Gamecube."



I don't care what it costs. Bring Seamus Blackley back to Microsoft's gaming devision. Each day without him makes the PS3 look that much better.
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Re: IGN article
Old 03-12-2005, 09:33 PM   #2
Teuthida
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Default Re: IGN article

Free chest dumping from a Singapore whore? I'm sold.
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Re: IGN article
Old 03-12-2005, 09:50 PM   #3
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Default Re: IGN article

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Strangler

Now it seems that not only is Microsoft not moving forward with new innovations, but they are removing the ones they already had and traipsing down the failure ridden road of "too many peripherals".

Ahhhh! The Nintendo Doctrine.
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