Why is it so hard...

Bube · 02-02-2005, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeepnut's slave

I always had that fear of rejection when it came to telling someone that I like them (for the first time).

As far as saying "I love you" it is definately a big thing to say, especially if you're not sure that the other person feels as strongly about it as you do.

But it still all boils down to a fear of rejection.

And I know what you mean about the crying bit.... I do it too, unfortunately

Well, yes, "love" is too strong, you're right. I was talking about saying whatever you'd say to start a relationship (I've seen so different and funny things

).

Yan · 02-02-2005, 09:33 PM

The problem is... most of the people I liked/loved before my current relationship already had someone else on their minds. OR someone else that I know of fancies them too. So as usual, me being stuck in the middle, I'd rather back away slowly and just forget about it...

Of course, then you have the fear of rejection too...

Typhoid · 02-02-2005, 09:46 PM

I've told one girl, and one girl only that I loved her, and its only hard the first time.

Because you dont know how the other person will react.

Like, even when she said it to me, I could tell she was nervous. By the way she was acting.

Its so hard because of what the word means. Love is to care unconditionally for someone.

Yet loving someone, and Being In love with someone are totally different things.

I love 2 of my Girl friends, this doesnt mean I'm in love with them though. To secure that argument, I love my parents, sisters and brother, yet I dont plan on dating any of them ever.

Im jaded now though. Because I tell every girl I love her. Not in a serious way, all the time, When I say it Im usually joking, or I mean it in the way of a friend.

Despite the lack of feelings, it still changes it for you.

TheSlyMoogle · 02-02-2005, 10:02 PM

Telling someone that you love them is sometimes an easy thing for people to do.

For me I never said it in a meaningful way until recently.

It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I told myself I wouldn't say it unless I really thought I meant it. I think I did mean it this time. I think I mean it everytime I say it.

I think love is a word too often tossed around by people. It's not something you should take so lightly, but I feel it often is.

It was so hard for me to say it before, but now that I am in love, it's not a big deal at all, because it's never a big deal to tell the truth.

I think if it's really love, you'll know, and you wont have a problem with letting them know too, because you know they feel the same way.

DimHalo · 02-02-2005, 10:03 PM

You know what else can be hard, is having someone say it to you and you don't want to say it back... but you know they expect you to. I've been there, and it was tough.

TheSlyMoogle · 02-02-2005, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeepnut's slave

You know what else can be hard, is having someone say it to you and you don't want to say it back... but you know they expect you to. I've been there, and it was tough.

I've been there also, I know how it feels.

The Germanator · 02-03-2005, 12:53 AM

I can tell you why it's so hard for me. I'm insanely shy, especially when it comes to dealing with things like this with girls. There probably have been 4 or 5 times already in my life when I've definitely liked a girl but was too petrified to say anything about it. For me it's not just rejection, but it's embarassment. What if I thought that the girl liked me, was pretty confident, but then when I told her/asked her out, and then she reacts like I'm an idiot...For some reason, I always picture the worst case scenario in my mind before getting courage up to ask a girl out, and for that reason, I've never technically done it. I'm also scared about the aftermath of it all if she said no. I honestly don't think I could handle seeing that person on a daily/regular basis, her knowing that I still probably like her, but me knowing that I have no chance. None of this has ever happened to me because I haven't allowed it to happen, which leaves me a bit desperate at his point. Because if I don't allow myself to do it, then there will be a whole lot of lonely years ahead for me. So it goes.

Dyne · 02-04-2005, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Germanator

I can tell you why it's so hard for me. I'm insanely shy, especially when it comes to dealing with things like this with girls. There probably have been 4 or 5 times already in my life when I've definitely liked a girl but was too petrified to say anything about it. For me it's not just rejection, but it's embarassment. What if I thought that the girl liked me, was pretty confident, but then when I told her/asked her out, and then she reacts like I'm an idiot...For some reason, I always picture the worst case scenario in my mind before getting courage up to ask a girl out, and for that reason, I've never technically done it. I'm also scared about the aftermath of it all if she said no. I honestly don't think I could handle seeing that person on a daily/regular basis, her knowing that I still probably like her, but me knowing that I have no chance. None of this has ever happened to me because I haven't allowed it to happen, which leaves me a bit desperate at his point. Because if I don't allow myself to do it, then there will be a whole lot of lonely years ahead for me. So it goes.

That's exactly how I used to be.

You just have to remember the saying, "If you don't look for a relationship in a woman first, they'll look for one in you."

Also, if you look closely, there's hidden meaning in that quote. It says woman, not girl.

I will be damned if I'm ever caught saying if I like a girl or not through straight language.

ulala06 · 02-08-2005, 09:03 PM

hmmm... love is a word that's tossed around a lot nowadays.

i've grown up never saying it, even if you DID love someone. my family just isn't like that, so if i tell someone i love them, i usually really really REALLY mean it.

when people do nothing but tell each other how much they love each other, i think it cheapens it.

Stray_Bullet · 02-09-2005, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyne

You just have to remember the saying, "If you don't look for a relationship in a woman first, they'll look for one in you."

Yes!

I hadn't heard that beforehand... but it's working out quite nicely.

Vampyr · 02-08-2005, 09:12 PM

It's like everything else in the world.

The more of it you have, the less the value.

DeathsHand · 02-09-2005, 04:53 AM

I hate saying "I love you" because I hate the phrase "I love you"... when it's coming from me at least, it sounds, feels, and looks (that's right, looks) awkward...

And because I'd be lying...

Seth · 02-09-2005, 05:13 AM

I'm just afraid of the commitment that's involved.

commitment is a scary thing when at the tender age of 19.

Canyarion · 02-04-2005, 02:46 AM

We're talking about saying it for the first time? Cause I really tell my girlfriend I love her almost every day!

But the first time.... it was hard.... You really love that person.... but when you say that, and she/he doesn't love you back, you could also ruin your friendship. So you try to find out what she thinks of you.

Ace195 · 02-04-2005, 03:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canyarion

We're talking about saying it for the first time? Cause I really tell my girlfriend I love her almost every day!

But the first time.... it was hard.... You really love that person.... but when you say that, and she/he doesn't love you back, you could also ruin your friendship. So you try to find out what she thinks of you.

Yeah I tell my girlfriend I love her everyday, and I am IN love with her too and she is with me.