Marriage

Su-Yin · 01-16-2005, 11:21 AM

why would someone trap themselves in so much commitment and responsibility at such a young age.....i feel if u love someone...very well....be with him/her and be happy....but when you get married at 16-19 ish....all is wasted...youth is wasted......the very few best years of your life....will b spent on doing the same s*** you will be doing for the rest of your life......

WHY?!.....i feel if you're destined to b together....you will at the end of the day....if the feeling of love is mutually strong...there is no need to bond yourselves together in marriage just to prove that the relationship you share is secure...*shrug* thats what i feel.

Canyarion · 01-20-2005, 04:34 AM

To the one that said people can change in a year: people will always keep changing. It's about how you deal with that. That's what matters more in a relation, I think.

DimHalo · 01-20-2005, 10:36 AM

Yes, but the big changes occur after you really start to get close to someone. They take down their barriers. So, that is why I said a year is not long enough. Of course people always change, but its those early changes that are most important.

fingersman · 01-20-2005, 03:31 PM

I find it interesting that Jeepnut's slave is posting about marriage and Jeepnut is nowhere to be found.

Canyarion · 01-20-2005, 04:00 PM

Well JS what if I'm we're already close enough? What if we already took down our barriers (whatever that means?

)?

You can't judge for others whether they're ready or not....

DimHalo · 01-20-2005, 04:07 PM

well girls do think more about marriage than guys (in general) ... and jeepnut is probably scared to put up his opinion in case someone will speculate that we're near that point

Canyarion - you're probably right, my opinion is a general opinion formed of what I would want for myself and what I have already seen (a lot)

jeepnut · 01-20-2005, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeepnut's slave

well girls do think more about marriage than guys (in general) ... and jeepnut is probably scared to put up his opinion in case someone will speculate that we're near that point

Canyarion - you're probably right, my opinion is a general opinion formed of what I would want for myself and what I have already seen (a lot)

Yeah, we both know a person who jumped into a relationship way to fast and got engaged while the girl was still in High School. They both said they were meant for each other, they both said they wanted to be together forever and they both said they were in love. Shortly there after things went wrong and his life is worse off for it. She ruined a few of his friendships and probably a lot of his confidence. Basically, in my opinion, there is absolutely no reason not to wait. If it's meant to be, it will happen. This is not to say this will happen to you and I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Just that, in general, more often than not, it's a good idea to take marriage very slowly.

My thoughts on marriage are that I do definitely, without a doubt want to be married with a family someday. But, I also want to be able to support that family and provide a secure and loving environment for my children to grow up in. This means I want to be out of college and have a decent job with some money saved up so that we are solid finacially and I want to have known my spouse for several years to be sure that we can get along and that we've given time to discover all those habits we have that at first we thought were cute but are now just annoying. Relationships change over time, a lot. I feel I would be irresponsible to add children to a relationship that had not in my mind already stood some test of time. I can't even begin to tell you how much JS and myself have evolved both individually and as a couple over the three plus years we have known each other, but I can say without a doubt that I am sure that we will change even more in the coming years.

Not meant to be a lecture, just laying my thoughts and opinions out on the table.