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Re: Poetry: Part 2 |
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03-29-2004, 12:18 AM
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#1
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Anthropomorphic
Typhoid is offline
Location: New Caladonia
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Posts: 9,511
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Re: Poetry: Part 2
Someones already probably done this but, here goes. Now i have to let you know that i poured my heart and soul into this....This Poem is entitled
Love Bytes
100010101010100101,
1010101010101010101010100.0101,
00101010001010101101010,
010101010101,
010101,
101010101010101010101,
01000101001011101010011101010,
101010101010000000101010101001010,
11110101000101010101010,
101010,
1000101010101010010100101,
010101010101010101.
Please be gentile when reading that. It means alot to me.
__________________
Fingerbang:
1.) The sexual act where a finger is inserted into the vagina or anus.
Headbang:
1.) To vigorously nod your head up and down.
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Re: Poetry: Part 2 |
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03-29-2004, 12:20 AM
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#2
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Language Goddess
DimHalo is offline
Location: St. Louis, MO
Now Playing: Nights on the Wii
Posts: 2,561
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Re: Poetry: Part 2
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Typhoid
Someones already probably done this but, here goes. Now i have to let you know that i poured my heart and soul into this....This Poem is entitled
Love Bytes
100010101010100101,
1010101010101010101010100.0101,
00101010001010101101010,
010101010101,
010101,
101010101010101010101,
01000101001011101010011101010,
101010101010000000101010101001010,
11110101000101010101010,
101010,
1000101010101010010100101,
010101010101010101.
Please be gentile when reading that. It means alot to me.
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you want us all to be non-jewish people when we read it? ok..
__________________
Can't help it, the girl can't help it.
www.myspace.com/alexismmm
It's another night in hell, Another child won't live to tell
Can you imagine what it's like to starve to death
And as we sit free and well, Another soldier has to yell
Tell my wife and children I love them in his last breath
C'mon now amen, amen, amen
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Re: Poetry: Part 2 |
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03-29-2004, 12:24 AM
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#3
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Banned
The Germanator is offline
Location: Pennsylvania
Now Playing: The Legend of Zelda : Twilight Princess
Posts: 6,031
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Re: Poetry: Part 2
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Typhoid
Someones already probably done this but, here goes. Now i have to let you know that i poured my heart and soul into this....This Poem is entitled
Love Bytes
100010101010100101,
1010101010101010101010100.0101,
00101010001010101101010,
010101010101,
010101,
101010101010101010101,
01000101001011101010011101010,
101010101010000000101010101001010,
11110101000101010101010,
101010,
1000101010101010010100101,
010101010101010101.
Please be gentile when reading that. It means alot to me.
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Interesting structure. What made you decide to end all lines with syntactic pauses? It creates a more formal balance, which is one way to go. I question the rhyme scheme though. If you are going with the more formal regularity that I mentioned above, it would be nice to see the rhyme scheme stay more consistent and true. I suppose you may have been mixing in some free verse, which can be done well if used effectively. I'm not sure that you did it perfectly, but I applaud the effort to infuse it. |
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Re: Poetry: Part 2 |
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03-29-2004, 12:30 AM
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#4
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Anthropomorphic
Typhoid is offline
Location: New Caladonia
Now Playing:
Posts: 9,511
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Re: Poetry: Part 2
Quote:
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Originally Posted by The Germanator
Interesting structure. What made you decide to end all lines with syntactic pauses? It creates a more formal balance, which is one way to go. I question the rhyme scheme though. If you are going with the more formal regularity that I mentioned above, it would be nice to see the rhyme scheme stay more consistent and true. I suppose you may have been mixing in some free verse, which can be done well if used effectively. I'm not sure that you did it perfectly, but I applaud the effort to infuse it.
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I apreciate your constructive critisism, but i like my poem the way it is, its dirty and raw, and straight from the heart.
In all honesty i wrote that song one time at band camp.....but lets not get into that right now.
__________________
Fingerbang:
1.) The sexual act where a finger is inserted into the vagina or anus.
Headbang:
1.) To vigorously nod your head up and down.
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