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Old 01-19-2002, 09:17 AM   #9
BreakABone
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BreakABone is offline
Location: Resident of Alfred.. Yes the town named after Batman's butler
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Well now I'm done with chapter 1...

Same problems as before with the quotes and the dialgoue but I guess you would since you wrote it before anyone else read it....

Well there are some minor errors in these chapter.. like the use of a pronoun that doesn't fit anyone in the first paragraph.....

The chapter isn't half bad but now it seems like the prologue was more of chapter 1 then it was a prologue since the story picks up right after it.....

We get the first trace of a plot in these chapter also....

And you need to be a tad more descriptive....
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