CRASH, Where the hell is my N64 controller!

[C.H]

For years i have sat by the postbox. The hair on my head grew 10 feet long, and contorted itself around a post; my beard grew below my knees and formed a handy bowl shape on my lap. Many years ago i won a contest on these boards for 'best poster of the month'*, for which Crash promised me my prize was an N64 controller. Having never really won anything before, the excitment consumed my very existence, so much so everything else in my life took a sudden backseat. So sit and wait i did.

A little dog would often come and deposit small bits of food in my beard bowl. When the dog stop coming, i began to look at the backseat, and the reality that Crash may have never sent the N64 controller started to sink in. For the first time in years i tried to stand, but my hair raped around the post prevented me. My anger was brewing, until i eventually toar all my hair clean out. I was then unfortunately sent to a mental asylum, from which i recently escape. I was forced to leave my home country, and i now find myself residing in Japan**.

Many here may not remember this particular episode of Gametavern life and its past guises, but i implore those who do to help me attain justice. It now seems things have changed quite a lot, N64 controllers are no longer used, and theres this service called Virtual console, and apparently old controllers called Gamecube controllers. It seems an N64 controller would be of no use to me now. So i ask, what compensation should Crash offer me, other than his life.

*On a side note, i don't believe there have been any 'best poster' contests of any sort since. Since i am the only member to be given such a title, the title is still mine.

**I actually am currently living in Japan, i've been here about a month and half.