GameTavern - Make a Story

Wow. I hate to double post, but I think you should see how this works, altogether so far.

A 17 year old boy roots through his attic looking for old toys to sell at his family's yard sale. After looking through many boxes he notices one box in the corner that it duct taped shut. The box had something written on the side of it. The writing on the box read, "Do not open under any circumstance". Overcome by curiosity, the boy opens the box. Inside he finds an old Atari system. "Aw, snap!", the teenager exclaims. He picks up the Atari and rushes downstairs to set it up. Upon hooking up the Atari the boy notices something very odd... He sees the words ET come on screen. Immediately and instinctively, he throws the Atari out the window. As soon as it hits the ground, it breaks apart into many pieces. Curiously, he looks out the window at the ground and is shocked to see that the Atari was in reality the astral prison of Chthulu Lord of Chaos. With the scream of a million tortured souls the Demon of Arkham burst forth onto the unwitting world...

Meanwhile an Ice Cream truck rolled down the street and when a small child saw it he got hit by it. The child was actually the brother of the 17 year old, and as everyone rushed to the hospital, they found that the doctor wasn't really a doctor. He was actually just some guy who felt like being a doctor. The real doctor emerged from hiding to reveal the boy's condition. "I'm pleased to let you know, Mr. and Mrs. Jackass, that your son is fine. Unfortunately the ice cream truck will never be the same again". Distraught with grief for the ice cream truck, the couple and their kid ran out of the hospital in a hilarious fashion.

Suddenly a meteorite collided with the Earth and everyone died. Except for the Fat from Marlon Brando’s ass, his ass fat was very happy living alone on the world by itself from a result of the meteor crash that killed everyone. Then the rubble from the earth started to move and underneath it was Chthulu Lord of Chaos. Whose plan to take over the world had all but worked when a small pony trotted in while singing a happy song of love and joy. The sky opened up to reveal the most tranquil sea of blue and the birds began to flutter about and chirp delightfully. Suddenly, the birds began to explode into puddles of fire and bird remnants. The sky turned red as blood and out came Alf. After many years in hibernation, he had become evil because his show got the axe. He shouted his words to the people below demanding the show be put back on the air when five super hookers showed up wearing capes, declaring they were going to "save the day". The crowd "erupted" with "excitement", and then the super hookers dug up a magic lamp. They then wished for the earth to be restored to its former glory. Magic rays shot out from the magic lamp as all the land was fixed and the people were reborn into their former selves.

But something was different... the Earth was under the control of Robots!!! The robots were hard and cruel masters that had no time for guff. Only one person would stand up to the robots, and he was taking a nap. So Zombie John Wayne had to fill in to defeat the robots. Zombie John Wayne pulled out his magic six shooters and had a sudden Heart attack and died ( again ). The Robots were unstoppable, but after decades they began to break down and shoot diarrhea all over the place! It was craaaayyyzeee! There were pieces of corn and stuff in it! OMGLOLWTFBBQ?!?!? Then Cthulu farted and elsewhere in a neighboring state two teenage boys entered a tent. They were camping for the weekend. As soon as Jacob turned off the lantern, Ezra got out of his sleeping bag and his put his hand on the other boy's Eggo waffle. "Leggo my Eggo!", the boy exclaimed. A battle ensued until a sharp screech was heard. This screech could only have been made by a female vampire. In the woods not too far from the tent, the vampire screeched when it was in the heat of battle with a female werewolf. Taken off guard by the female werewolf's bite, the female vampire is about to be finished with a final blow, when all of the sudden she is saved by a piano that just so happens to fall out of the sky and land on the werewolf. "Oh snap!" the vampire exclaimed.

Then Marlon Brando’s ass fat rained down upon everyone and they all lived happily ever after, the end.

Or was it...

...it was.

NO WAIT! Cthulu came back and started to bust out these totally phat beats while the vampire was crankin' out these sick breaks. "Oh sh*t, son. This is totally illin'" proclaimed the vampire. "Damn straight" replied Cthulu. All was right with the world until this lanky-lookin' bastard in this ghetto-ass boat strolled up the creek and got his posse with him and started to stake the vampire because they were those geeky guys into the paranormal. They had the vampire with them and put it in a box and rowed away fast, hoping to tell the tale of the catch, but then the Vampire thrusted it's female hips until the box broke open, and then she thrusted the face of each man aboard the ship until they were all unconscious. Without a captain to steer the ship, the boat crashed into a rock and started to sink. Vampires can't swim! Suddenly, the female vampire had an idea - she remembered she is a vampire and started to fly away, and then the Vampire realized that she hadn't yet learned to fly. So she took out her cell phone but realized it was only 6:40 so she'd be using daytime minutes.

"Aww man... Ta hell wit dat," the hot lady Vampire exclaimed.

She then proceeded to drown. Normally this wouldn't affect Vampires. However she didn't realize that the creek had been blessed for the baptismal services the following day. She melted while cursing her mobile provider.

And to this day you can still hear the eerie, bone chilling sound of the vampire cursing her mobile provider. And sometimes, you can even hear her phone ringing. But if you do, make sure you don't turn your TV on, because that's just what little Nick did, only to find Roseanne was on, he screamed and screamed until his head exploded! An hour later his mother came home and saw what happened! She screamed and found the nearest doctor to clone her 50 more Nicks. As the experiment was going on, the doctor noticed something strange with the mother, she was actually a ticking time bomb and in a dramatic escape the doctor and the 50 clones made it out alive. The doctor then trained the 50 clones into perfect killing machines. They went on to get hit by a truck. The truck driver was given a medal for killing the killer clones. He was also given a supernatural b.j. from a supernatural spirit. At first it made him uncomfortable but as he slid back into his reclining chair for maximum pleasure, he knew everything was going to be just fine. As he began to unbutton his shirt an alien burst out of this chest. This alien turned out to be Florence Nightingale and she started to dance. But then Florence Nightingale opened her mouth, and out came a whole swarm of killer bees hell bent on thrusting their hips into a hamburger. The nearest McDonalds was 5 miles away so off they went. But before they could reach their destination, a obstacle appeared out of nowhere, and the obstacle was a giant bug zapper hell bent on destroying killer bees hell bent on thrusting their non existent hips into hamburgers. The bees started to fly into the zapper. ZAP Zap Blurk.

All of a sudden, a huge bang was heard from the mountains, Carl looks only to see the greatest thing ever known to man. Which of course is a Pizza sub from Subway with Jalepino peppers, cheese, lettuce, mayo, salt and pepper all on a footlong white bun. He bites in to notice that his Pizza sub has meatballs in it, so he goes up the the "sandwich artist" and asks "Could you inspect my twelve-inch? I just don't feel like these balls are supposed to be here..."

To which the "Sandwich Artist" said:

"Look out behind you!"

As the man turned around the sandwich artist made a daring escape. He hopped in his helicopter and flew to Mexico where he pitched the idea of a pizza sub with meatballs. The president was so impressed about this wondrous new thing that he pumped himself hard and steady into his new secretary. She meant to moan and groan but the words coming out were "Stop making inappropriate story sections, Gamemaster!"

The president was confused by this so he killed her with a hammer and continued to pursue his Broadway dream as a little boy growing up on a ranch down south. He always dreamed of making it big, but his parents kept holding him back. Then he remembered the advice that he once heard from a homeless man on the street.

“A hotdog in the mouth is worth two in the hand.” And so he decided to open the World’s largest Homeless Hotdog Vending Corporation...

And the catch phrase of that corporation was "Put our meat in your mouth."

It did very well with the demographic of middle aged clowns. These clowns were extremely violent. One day, in a ploy to destroy all of humanity they filled their squirting flowers with a diabolical shrinking fluid.

But what they didn't realize was...