Humorous Essays

[Dylflon]

Essays (http://douglas.min.net/essay/)

hahaha.

[Seth]

MY laughter is subjective to how old the writer of those essays is.

[GT News]

MY laughter is subjective to how old the writer of those essays is.

Have you told many people that your
laughter is subjective to how old the writer of those essays is?

[GameMaster]

The Tootsie Roll analysis is great! :lol:

[Happydude]

:rofl: man i gotta learn how to write like this guy!!!

[GT News]

:rofl: man i gotta learn how to write like this guy!!!

I'm glad you find this amusing.
Cool, man. Why do you have to do it?

[Happydude]

because i would like to see the reaction of my teachers, and because it would help me skip the research step for any paper :p

[jeepnut]

It shouldn't be too hard to learn. These seem pretty fake as they are anyway.

[Dark Samurai]

Ha ha. That was quite humorous.

[thatmariolover]

???
I was laughing my ass off the whole time, and a lot of you aren't very impressed... Eh...

Whether they're real or not I think it's hilarious. To me, it made perfect sense that the guy knew what he was saying and was doing it on purpose and for a reaction. Not because he was dumb. And either way: comic genius.

"We are too proud. We will not commit human sacrifices. We refuse to satiate the Peruvian gods. Thus, they remain angry and keep killing us and burning down our trees with El Nino."

[Typhoid]

That kind of sounds like the essay's i would write....Last week i had to write a 600 word essay on a story called "The Tractor", but ran out of ideas, so i started making comments about how i should get an "A", and how clever my teacher is, then i made a few random statements about how nice the weather was while i was writing it....That only took me to 400 words....Come to think of it, i dont think that i wrote ANYTHING on what i was supposed to....But those things were messed up......i think he needs less medicatoin....or more....

[Yugi Starwind]

Those were just funny. some comical stuff, but just plain funny. ::stiches sides up due to all the laughter..::

[jeepnut]

That kind of sounds like the essay's i would write....Last week i had to write a 600 word essay on a story called "The Tractor", but ran out of ideas, so i started making comments about how i should get an "A", and how clever my teacher is, then i made a few random statements about how nice the weather was while i was writing it....That only took me to 400 words....Come to think of it, i dont think that i wrote ANYTHING on what i was supposed to....But those things were messed up......i think he needs less medicatoin....or more....

Did you get a grade yet?

[Typhoid]

Did you get a grade yet?

Ya, i got a C+, which is kind of sad...I think he ws taken in by all the Ass kissing the essay did...Not me....the essay...i Dont own kneepads if you get my drift..... :sneaky:

[jeepnut]

Wow. Either he's an easy grader or you said some pretty flattering stuff.

[Dylflon]

Don't believe what Typhoid says. He's a compulsive liar.

And a hypochondriac.

[Typhoid]

Don't believe what Typhoid says. He's a compulsive liar.

And a hypochondriac.

No.....im not lying, i did actually get a C+ on it...it was a low C+ though.....and to be fair, it didnt help my grade out much, cuz im still failing..... :( And i was jokin about the hypochondriac thing....ya i saw it.....sittin there in its white text.....dont make me say stuff about you.....cuz i will, and im relentless...

At least i dont jerk-off to naked pictures of my brother....i kid, i kid

[Dylflon]

At least i dont jerk-off to naked pictures of my brother....i kid, i kid

That's rather innapropriate and slanderous. Guards! Take him away!

[jeepnut]

That's rather innapropriate and slanderous. Guards! Take him away!

Wait, we have guards? If we don't, we should and I'll be the first to sign up.

[GameMaster]

You're hired!

*snaps finger*

Jeepnut, show this ruffian to the door.

[Typhoid]

*Smashes Bottle*
You'll never take me alive!!!
*Makes Heroic run out of door, while tragic music playes in background, with flashbacks of family getting run over by a bus*

[jeepnut]

*Smashes Bottle*
You'll never take me alive!!!
*Makes Heroic run out of door, while tragic music playes in background, with flashbacks of family getting run over by a bus*

*Drives the bus.*

:D

[Dark Samurai]

:rofl:

[DimHalo]

haha, this is hilarious!

[Typhoid]

*runs back into room*

You do know my family actually did get run over by a bus.....ask Dylflon for confirmation.....

*frantically runs back away*

[Dylflon]

Yeah. His whole family. By one bus. They were crossing the street. No joke.

[Typhoid]

Yeah. His whole family. By one bus. They were crossing the street. No joke.

They were going to the old spaghetti factory, my mom was pregnant with me, and a bus ran down the hill and hit them all...it was in papers across Canada, and New York, ill try find the link....they all survived though...And the wierd thing is that the accident was on my (now) nephews birthday...( he wasnt born then)

[jeepnut]

They were going to the old spaghetti factory, my mom was pregnant with me, and a bus ran down the hill and hit them all...it was in papers across Canada, and New York, ill try find the link....they all survived though...And the wierd thing is that the accident was on my (now) nephews birthday...( he wasnt born then)

That's impressive. Your family has good luck.

[Typhoid]

And i was born on my sisters 10th birthday....she hated me for along time.....but now shes a .....local......professianal singer...i guess shes not that proffessional then...And my other sister writes..(or wrote, i cant remember) childrens books in england.....and im wealthy....HEY!!! good things do happen to bad people!!!

[jeepnut]

And i was born on my sisters 10th birthday....she hated me for along time.....but now shes a .....local......professianal singer...i guess shes not that proffessional then...And my other sister writes..(or wrote, i cant remember) childrens books in england.....and im wealthy....HEY!!! good things do happen to bad people!!!

It's times like these when I wonder if you're lying compulsively again.

[Typhoid]

no, i swear on my life im not, and i dont lie compulsovely, i dont really lie at all. He just said that to make ou guys think i do. Put it this way, if i am a compulsive liar, then Dylflon likes to have sex with men. But im desperately looking fo the newspaper articles...i could scan them, then you would all believe me.....Im not lying though, this would be the last thing i lie about, if at all.

[Dylflon]

He's actually not lying. His family (though possibly undeserving of wealth) has become very wealthy recently. This newfound wealth involves his dad playing two companies for chumps in their desperate bid to get him to work for them.

[Typhoid]

Thats over...he also took out his pention......score....but enough about me.....back to the essays.....