Let's talk about girls!

[Jonbo298]

Know what is such a bitch to deal with and subsequently still trying to get over with, Approach Anxiety. Bane of my existence that has subsequently cascaded problems in the past.

That is all...

[Swan]

Originally Posted by Jonbo298

Know what is such a bitch to deal with and subsequently still trying to get over with, Approach Anxiety. Bane of my existence that has subsequently cascaded problems in the past.

That is all...

You know what the cure to that is?




Beer

[BreakABone]

Originally Posted by Swan

You know what the cure to that is?




Beer

Let's just say liquid courage and not discriminate against other liquors.

[Jonbo298]

Originally Posted by Swan

You know what the cure to that is?




Beer

Oh trust me, I'm well aware Beer (actually anything in general that will loosen me up) brings out the "lighter" side of me. Preferably harder liquor's and BaB, anything that can be of liquid encourage is great I just know my boundaries and not an alcoholic like I've seen in some already.

[thatmariolover]

I myself have a little approach anxiety, but I've been much better about it lately. I think you have to try to understand the reason you feel anxious and tackle that (which I realize is more easily said than done). For me it was feeling inadequate and not desirable, which in turn makes you less desirable. It's not about false boasting, but it is about confidence.

Look people in the eye. For me this was a huge issue because I thought that with guys I was being agressive and challenging, and for girls I was afraid they'd think I was staring. But it has nothing to do with that. It has to do with knowing your own worth, and being your own man, and looking people in the eye because you are good enough.

Now that I have a level of confidence I'm comfortable with, I have a lot more intimate encounters. Unfortunately I also had a really bad breakup a while back and although I'm over the girl, I'm apparently not really recovered. In almost 5 years I've not met a girl that I wanted to be in a relationship with. Sure, sexual attraction is there. But any time that leads somewhere it's just hollow and meaningless and ultimately leaves me more lonely than if I'd just refrained (which I do most of the time anymore).

A very recent development is my ex calling me up and explaining that she just called off her wedding because she still loves me. Part of what she feels is regret, because she really treated me like shit and she knows it. I got together with her to hear her out and she apologized for a lot of stuff that really hurt and she offered a lot of explanations of things that I hadn't understood. That was a release and I'm sure it was stuff I needed to hear. But eventually the encounter turned sexual, and I regret it deeply. I told her straight up that I didn't want anything from her in the way of a relationship and that I just couldn't offer her anything but friendship. But she persisted and eventually I allowed her to seduce me. It's not like it was really a dramatic or regretable encounter. But it did make me realize that I really don't have those feelings for her anymore. I love her, but not like that.

That's complicated in and of itself because on some level I had hoped that I couldn't find love because I still held some remnant of feelings for her. But being with her made me realize that that isn't the case at all, which in turn makes me feel worse because it means that there's something else wrong with me. I'm trying not to get too bent out of shape about it, and I keep telling myself it will come when it comes. But I've played the single game for a long time, and I'm ready to get back in the game.

[Angrist]

Ok I have a weird story again. There are these twins that I met yesterday. They're both cute (although 4 years older than me).
Problem A:
Although I can tell them apart (by looks and somewhat by behavior), I can't remember who of the two I told what. I started talking with one, but then later more with the other. Very confusing.
Problem B:
I liked the first one, who was a bit more chaotic than the other. But at the end of the night the other said something that could be a hint. So... I feel like I got the attention of 2 almost identical girls. How do I react to that?

PS: This is the possible hint that the other one gave. Our group of 6 people was cheek-kissing goodbye. After the girl and me did that, she kept standing in front of me for a second and told me (with a serious face): 'I had a great time' (freely translated from Dutch). She didn't tell anyone else that. Possible hint?

[ZebraRampage]

Originally Posted by Angrist

Ok I have a weird story again. There are these twins that I met yesterday. They're both cute (although 4 years older than me).
Problem A:
Although I can tell them apart (by looks and somewhat by behavior), I can't remember who of the two I told what. I started talking with one, but then later more with the other. Very confusing.
Problem B:
I liked the first one, who was a bit more chaotic than the other. But at the end of the night the other said something that could be a hint. So... I feel like I got the attention of 2 almost identical girls. How do I react to that?

PS: This is the possible hint that the other one gave. Our group of 6 people was cheek-kissing goodbye. After the girl and me did that, she kept standing in front of me for a second and told me (with a serious face): 'I had a great time' (freely translated from Dutch). She didn't tell anyone else that. Possible hint?

Well, if you can't remember which one you said certain things to, go for both! I'm sure that's what everyone else is thinking, here. Maybe if you remember something else that you said to the girl that gave you the hint that wasn't anything to do with either of them then you could bring that certain thing again to both of them, and whoever responds to it will be the one that you're looking for. Do you remember what the second girl looked like compared to her twin when she said that she had a great time?

[Angrist]

Yeah, that's not the problem. I can tell them apart and I know which one said that.
It's just annoying that I can't remember which one I told I was engaged once. But I bet that because they're sisters, they'll talk about me anyway.

I guess all I can do is be nice to them both and then see which one likes me better.

[Seth]

Originally Posted by Angrist

Yeah, that's not the problem. I can tell them apart and I know which one said that.
It's just annoying that I can't remember which one I told I was engaged once. But I bet that because they're sisters, they'll talk about me anyway.

I guess all I can do is be nice to them both and then see which one likes me better.

Angrist, I bet when you're trying to be the devil's definition of mean, you're still a fairly nice guy Be only half nice okay? Goodluck!!

[Angrist]

Oh don't worry, I'm not that nice. I usually take way too much time to show a girl I like her.
Now I have a new problem. They looked pretty good when I saw them irl, but now that I see the pictures we took... they look scary.

[jeepnut]

Originally Posted by Angrist

Oh don't worry, I'm not that nice. I usually take way too much time to show a girl I like her.
Now I have a new problem. They looked pretty good when I saw them irl, but now that I see the pictures we took... they look scary.

Well, now you need to post those pictures so we can judge.

[Angrist]

Hehe, I was afraid you'd say that. But no, I'm not going to do that. Imagine they're good looking 31ers with an unfortunate smile.
The hinting girl concluded a mail to me with "see you soon!" ...

[manasecret]

Beer goggles?

[Typhoid]

You could have definitely been suffering from what is known as "being drunk while judging a girls appearance".

But also, some people just don't photograph well - while looking completely normal otherwise. Could depend on angle, timing, flash, lighting, etc.

[Angrist]

Well, I was on a picture with Marit Larsen once. The guy taking the picture suggested she laid her head on my shoulder and she did. That made me smile so terribly bad that I never show anyone that picture. I'm so ugly on it.
So yeah that's possible.