Yesterday I was working on my thesis at university and it smelled like fart all the time. I couldn't understand who would let his air flow all the time, it was disgusting.
In the end I came to the conclusion that it must have been myself.
(Sometimes you smell like something you've never smelled like before.)
You don't know when you break wind? As a male that should be one of your greatest accomplishments. Nothing is more satisfying than letting a silent one go while your friends are in the vicinity...and waiting for reaction.
I smell somebody's fart, so I think "Hey, might as well let a tiny one go myself. ... Hm, I'm not even sure if something came out."
Minutes later: "Bwoaf, what a smell! Who would do that? Oh well, let's get rid of some air now that it will get 'oversmelled'."
Etc.
The worst thing is that I dare not look the girl who sat next to me look into her eyes. Ever again. In the end it was just me and her left, so she has to know it was me.
__________________
It may have other powers than just making you vanish when you wish to... The One Ring
I was playing poker (real poker so real money) and had Pocket Jacks. I slow played preflop and just called the BB. I hit a Jack on the flop and had Trip Jacks, a pretty strong fucking hand. Plus I figure no one had me on Pocket Jacks. I also figured someone probably had a pocket pair or hit a set. Anyway, I lost the hand to a Flush and it was a runner too....
The lesson here folks is don't slow play pocket Jacks. Although I think in heads up they're like 18% preflop against a lot of premium hands. =/
Last week I called him to ask him when my exam was. He said he didn't have the info right there, but that it was on a monday. He asked me to call back later. I did, but he never picked up. This morning he called me and said he knew my date. Great. Finally.
Now I check my mail and find an e-mail which says my instructor has just made the reservation. Which means that he lied before. He never knew. He couldn't tell, because he hadn't made the reservation yet.
Also, I failed my first test because there were things he never taught me. He doesn't keep a list of what he has taught each student... He just drives around, randomly teaching stuff.
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It may have other powers than just making you vanish when you wish to... The One Ring
I was buying food at Dominicks. I had my cart in the produce area and I went to grab some carrots. I came back and my fucking cart was gone! Some asshole took off with my cart! No one is perfect....I've made the mistake of hijacking someone's cart before. So I decided to go on a quest to find the cart, realizing that the person who took the cart might return it to the scene of the hijacking like a decent and normal non-asshole. So I walked across the store surveying the aisles, and then proceeded back to the produce section. To my dismay the cart had not returned, and I had to pee, so I went back to the front of the store to secure a new cart and go on a quest to find all the groceries I had already gathered. Well lo and behold I found my fucking cart hidden in a corner by the photo section. I wanted to ask the manager if I could see camera footage so I could find the person and kick them in the balls/birth canal. Seriously, who the fuck does that! I'm a humble person, I'm not going to look down upon you for accidentally taking my cart. I have empathy!
Also the public bus was shitty and busy. And it is unseasonably cold for October and raining.
My back has been terrible since my car accident and a couple days ago I re-messed it up by not taking the "You still shouldn't be doing anything" seriously. Now I have an intense pain in my back that literally (for lack of a better expression) brings me to tears when I try to walk at times.
And I'm having a really hard time breathing.
And I have allergies.
And I still have no PS3 and my government money hasn't come yet.
And it's raining.
__________________ Fingerbang:
1.) The sexual act where a finger is inserted into the vagina or anus. Headbang:
1.) To vigorously nod your head up and down.
Location: Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey Hockey
I didn't get into another accident, I re-hurt my back as a result of the initial accident and me not taking the "Don't do anything" precautions seriously.
I find this "How do you keep getting into car accidents" thing hilarious, considering we hung out yesterday (I guess technically 2 days ago now. Darn!) - and when you asked what was wrong with my back, Andrew said "He re-injured it."
__________________ Fingerbang:
1.) The sexual act where a finger is inserted into the vagina or anus. Headbang:
1.) To vigorously nod your head up and down.
Re: Something Negative
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