A few jokes I found funny - Page 4

Jason1 · 10-16-2002, 10:49 PM

Since obviously nobody cares about dirty jokes, here is one I posted in the Black Project forum...

Me, PerfectStu, and Joeiss are driving on the highway in the same car. We are speeding, and a cop pulls us over. He says if the combined length of all of your penis's equals at least 20 inches, he wont write us a ticket. The cops starts measuring. Mine is 10 inches, Stu's is 8 inches and Joeiss's is 2 inches. So the cops says, ''okay, that will work'' and lets us go with no ticket. So we're driving down the rode a little later and Joeiss declares ''we're lucky I had a boner!''

Mechadragon · 10-16-2002, 11:35 PM

Its old but oh well:
3 professors were going to study cacti in the desert. Because of the small plane that they were using, they were only allowed to bring 1 object. The first professor brought a gallon of water, in case he gets thirsty. The second professor brings sandwiches in case he gets hungry. The third professor brings a cardoor, so when it gets hot, he can just roll down the window.

Angrist · 10-17-2002, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jason1
Since obviously nobody cares about dirty jokes, here is one I posted in the Black Project forum...

Me, PerfectStu, and Joeiss are driving on the highway in the same car. We are speeding, and a cop pulls us over. He says if the combined length of all of your penis's equals at least 20 inches, he wont write us a ticket. The cops starts measuring. Mine is 10 inches, Stu's is 8 inches and Joeiss's is 2 inches. So the cops says, ''okay, that will work'' and lets us go with no ticket. So we're driving down the rode a little later and Joeiss declares ''we're lucky I had a boner!''

Good job.

fingersman · 10-17-2002, 10:29 AM

I wondered who brought back up this thread...heheheehe..some of these jokes are side splitters.

and nice joke Jason1 although I heard it before

Btw I would like to point out how Jason makes sure he has the hugest gentials in his joke.

Angrist · 10-17-2002, 10:32 AM

In jokes anything is possible...

Shadow_Link · 10-17-2002, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fingersman
I wondered who brought back up this thread....

That would be me

.

I've got one, but I'm sure many of you have heard it before.

There's a man outside his bosses office that really needs to take a píss, and the toilet second nearest to him is up four flights of stairs. So he asks his boss if he can use the restroom in her office.

She says; 'Sure, but what ever you do, don't press the blue button'.

After relieving himself, he sees three buttons, a red button, a green button and a blue button. He pressed the red one, which acted as a bidet. The green button flushed the toilet.

After much pondering, he was anxious to see what the blue button did. He pressed it, and four hours later, he woke up in a hospital. He saw his boss, and asked her what happened.

She said; 'you pressed the blue didn't you?'.

He then replied; 'Yeah, but what does the blue button actually do?'

She then says; 'It's a tampon remover'.

Angrist · 10-17-2002, 05:03 PM

GameMaster · 10-17-2002, 06:20 PM

Does that mean his pickle got plucked?

Angrist · 10-17-2002, 06:37 PM

*slaps GameMaster in the face*
Sorry, I'm really not the physical type... I did it for you...

GameMaster · 10-17-2002, 09:54 PM

*slaps Angrist across the face*

That's for not keeping your classic avatar.

Ice006 · 10-19-2002, 06:17 AM

Ok. A boring joke that I did find kind of funny at the time.

An RSPCA (or other animal rights group) officer (or whatever they're called) is driving down the street, and sees a small group of children using a large dog to pull along their billy-cart. The dude stops his car, and gets out to have a closer look. He walks over to the kids, and asks them what they're doing. The oldest kid says "We're just using Tyson to pull along our cart. He's a strong dog, and he's having as much fun as we are. Just look at him!". The guy looks over, and the dog's standing there, looking happy enough, tail wagging away. The guy says "Well, I guess you're right, but I'm going to have to get you to remove the string tied around his testicles". The kid in the cart says "Damn! There go our brakes!".

sdtPikachu · 10-20-2002, 06:36 PM

Not exactly a joke, but I laughed my donkey off.

You'll need quicktime or some other MP4 compatible video player to watch it.

Ginkasa · 10-20-2002, 07:33 PM

Usually I find things like that (the muppet thing) hilarious but that wasn't funny at all....

Maybe I'm just in a bad mood or something...

Xantar · 10-20-2002, 07:34 PM

I have Quicktime, and it didn't work.

It'll be hard to top Metal Pr0n Solid, though. I used it on my friends whenever they need a good laugh.

Edit: never mind, it worked. But I had to open it within Quicktime.

Ice006 · 10-20-2002, 11:54 PM

It had better be worth the 8 minute download!

Edit: That time quickly jumped up to 14 minutes though... and I have a piece of advice that I came up with on the train (I think I came up with it anyway...), which is both funny, yet useful.

Just because someone is wearing headphones, it doesn't mean they can't smell your farts.