Do you Believe in Santa Clause?

[GiMpY-wAnNaBe]

Proof that
Santa Claus
DOES NOT
Exist

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) or other religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are not talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's.

A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. MERRY CHISTMAS!!!

Thought this might be useful to know

[Hero2]

what like hell theres 2 billion good childern in the world, theres like 5 tops and dont you know santa pays the parents to wrap and deliver the gifts geeze j/k

[Vampyr]

Originally Posted by GiMpY-wAnNaBe

Thought this might be useful to know

...I really dont think it proves anything, though.

If we accept that Santa's Reindeer can fly, then Im ready to believe that everything stated in that quote is true. If a freaking reindeer can fly, than you might as well go ahead and believe it can go 3,000 times faster than the speed of sound, and that the big guy can withstand it.

[GameMaster]

The magic of Christmas voids all your simple-minded human "rules".

[Rndm_Perfection]

Originally Posted by Vampyr

Stop trying to ruin my fun.

Anyway...yeah, this thread is just for fun. I dont actually believe that there is a big fat guy with a red suit and flying raindeer setting at the North Pole. I do believe that the persona known as Santa Clause does symbolize the spirit of christmas, though.

But dont be so serious. Of course I dont believe in Santa. Just because I start a thread saying "Do you Believe in Santa Clause?", and because I *jokeingly* say that I believe in Santa (and I do believe it was evident in my post that I was kidding), just because I do all that, does it mean I'm insane and believe in santa? No. It means I enjoy joking around and having fun, and being in the holiday spirit.

It's hard to read tone through text. How can you be sure that I was entirely serious? At least I used an emoticon, unlike in your first message ▌¬Þ...

Damn, I need to fix that funky face... it used to be good! I think it's XP.

=¬Þ will have to do for now.