Post your jokes here.

[DarkMaster]

Originally posted by The Germanator
Well, I know it's a stereo-type, but I've still heard that Canadians say "eh" more often than most...

you heard wrong, we dont say "eh" a lot, we would say the same damn things if we were born and raised in America. and another thing, wuts all this crap about canadians saying sh*t like "be gosh gee golly!!! that was a doosy!! eh!!!" and we arent that far north god damn it (well maybe those eskimos are, but who cares about them?). and no, i dont give a rat's ass about beavers, they can rot in hell for all i care! and i've never even been in a igloo!!! i dont know where people came up with these stupid ass stereo-types. and dont worry Germanator, i dont take any offense.

[Ginkasa]

"Amazing, a booby trap that actually traps boobies!"
- Optimus Prime


This was from an old episode of Transformers. It's better if you watch I guess but I can't stop laughing!



*laughs and walks away*


Edit: BTW, I've never heard those Canadian sterotypes... All the sterotypes of Canadians I've seen are the lumberjack things... That's what I think of when I think of Canada...

[DarkMaster]

Originally posted by Ginkasa
All the sterotypes of Canadians I've seen are the lumberjack things... That's what I think of when I think of Canada...

wut in the hell!?!?! lumberjack!?!?!?!? arrrrggghhh god damn

[The Germanator]

Originally posted by DarkMaster
you heard wrong, we dont say "eh" a lot, we would say the same damn things if we were born and raised in America. and another thing, wuts all this crap about canadians saying sh*t like "be gosh gee golly!!! that was a doosy!! eh!!!" and we arent that far north god damn it (well maybe those eskimos are, but who cares about them?). and no, i dont give a rat's ass about beavers, they can rot in hell for all i care! and i've never even been in a igloo!!! i dont know where people came up with these stupid ass stereo-types. and dont worry Germanator, i dont take any offense.

Well, the main reason I believed the stereo-type is because I was in Canada in June and like 2 of the immigration people said "eh" a couple times each while I was talking to them, so maybe that was just a fluke, but, people say it, that's all I'm saying...

[GameMaster]

I heard Canadians have quick tempers.

Now, onto the joke...

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "You know, we have a drink here named after you." Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "Oh really?_ You have a drink named Duncan?" duh duh ding!

[drolldurham]

...so then I said "prostitutes?! i thought you said KINDERGARTENERS!!!"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

what's that?
you missed the beginning of the joke?

*collapses unconcious*

[GameMaster]

Knock-knock...

Who’s there?

Gorilla!

Gorilla-who?

The Gorilla of your dreams!

duh duh ding!

[Angrist]

What is the most used anti-conception in Belgium (Belgians are DUMB here)?? It's green soap.

You ask how? Well, they put it on the rooftop so the [bird that brings the baby] slips out!


*shruggs and walks to the GameCube forum*

[Doctor Zhivago]

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Banana you glad I didn't say orange?


Wait, I told it wrong. Um...must...think...of...something..........
BANANA!!!

[Doctor Zhivago]

CNN Late Breaking News!

It has been reported that Osama bin Laden was captured this morning at 4:22 AM Pacific Standard Time by US Special Forces.

The prime suspect of the recent terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in New York City, bin Laden was captured at gunpoint as he fled an underground passage in a remote mountainside of southern Afghanistan.

Northern Alliance troops, who witnessed the events unfold, explained that moments earlier United States war planes had sprayed liquid Viagra across the southern Afghanistan countryside, and the little prick just popped up!


Not funny, I know. I don't come up with these things.....

[Doctor Zhivago]

Yeah, I know that this one isn't funny and is also dated as it is the year 2002. So sue me, you ass clown. Like I've said before, I don't come up with these. Anyway, here it goes:

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. known as:

"Millennia Year Application Software System" (MYASS).

Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS.

We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands.

Some employees have begun using the program already. This morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. Some of the less technical people may be somewhat afraid of MYASS.

Last week my secretary said to me, "I'm a little nervous, I never put anything in MYASS before." I helped her through the first time and afterward she admitted that it was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing it again, and was even ready to kiss MYASS.

There have been concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon initial installation, but the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MYASS.

This database will encompass all information associated with the business. As you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want in MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace for a supervisor to hand work to an employee and say, "here, stick this in MYASS."

[BlueFire]

I'm going to hurt all of you.



That's not a joke.

[Doctor Zhivago]

The height of...


Height of Patience:
A naked woman lying down with her legs apart under a banana tree.

Height of Frustration:
A boxer trying to scratch his balls.

Height of Innocence:
A teenage girl applying Clearasil to her nipples.

Height of Laziness:
A guy lying on a girl and waiting for an earthquake to do the rest.

Height of Competition:
A guy peeing beside a waterfall.

Height of Sophistication:
Sucking nipples with a straw.

Height of Disgust:
While wiping after a good toilet dump, your finger pokes through the paper.

Height of Technology:
A condom with a zip.

Height of Trouble:
A one-handed man with an itchy ass hanging from a cliff.



I know, I know. It's disgusting and un-funny. Well, you come up with something.

[GameMaster]

What's the difference between an elephant and a cookie?
____________
You can't dip an elephant in your milk!

duh duh ding!

[DarkMaster]

wuts the difference between a pineapple and a penguin?

i dunno...