Never Ending Story "Penguin's Version" - Page 2

Xantar · 09-19-2002, 06:38 PM

It was Xantar!!!

Unfortunately, Xantar isn't a real doctor. Not yet, anyway. But he was the best that the financially strapped AIDS clinic could have done. That didn't really increase Crono's confidence in the clinic, but so it goes...

"Hey there!" Xantar said cheerfully. "Here, Neo. Read some fanfics while I take a look at Crono. Crono, why don't you just hop right up on that table there, that's it."

Once Crono was sitting on the examination table, Xantar proceeded to...

Doctor Zhivago · 09-19-2002, 06:50 PM

slap his ass with a dead monkey. "Dude, what the hell!?" Crono screamed out. Why are you slapping my ass with a dead monkey?" "Sorry," Xantar responded, "I never went to medical school and you can only learn so much about AIDs treatment from the Gametavern forums. Would you care for a lollypop?" "Hell no, Crono screamed "I don't want a damn lollypop! I want to know who's running this goddamn clinic!" "Oh," exclaimed Xantar, "you want to know who calls the shots around here, huh?" Damn right I do" screamed Crono. "Well," he started "that would be our head fake doctor, FreakyBob." FreakyBob steps out from the shadows and says..........

Perfect Stu · 09-19-2002, 09:55 PM

"I enjoy talking to inanimate objects!!!!" Soon, the chirping of crickets could be heard in the near distance.

Freakybob walked around the room, staring at paintings to which he referred to as 'flingalings'. Crono and Xantar looked at him with this exact look:

Then, out of the blue, a child's voice was heard yelling:

BreakABone · 09-19-2002, 10:25 PM

"What the hell has happened to my story," and out walked a clone of BaB.
"bAB has more pressing matters to attend to but he wanted to make sure that this AIDs storyline be dropped." He wants Hot Lesbain Action!!!!!!!!!

And you got 3 minutes to find it. "Did I just hear someone say 3 mins?!?!?" came a voice....

Doctor Zhivago · 09-20-2002, 07:58 PM

*notices that no one's posted in over twenty hours* *decides to break rules*

It was deep voice of none other than James Earl Jones. "Oh, my God," Xantar gasped, "James Earl Jones! The James Earl Jones! Wait...who's James Earl Jones?" At this, James Earl Jones gave Xantar a stern look. "Surely you've heard of me!" he shouted, amazed at the very idea of someone not knowing who he is. "Nope," Xantar replied while sucking on a lollipop, "I don't know who you are or why you're here." "FreakyBob wrote me into the story because it was getting boring" he said. "I came here to deliver some lesbian porn to BreakABone. And, by the way, I was the voice of Darth Vadar and Mufasha from the Lion King (Coyotes could be heard singing in the background)." "Um...okay" Crono muttered. This is really going nowhere. It would be nice if something interesting would happen in this story once in a while." At that very moment, a thin, girlie white boy entered the room. "My sons," he began, " It is I, Jesus, the messiah, you're lord and savior." Neo put down his fan fics and walked over to Jesus. "Alright, Jesus," he sighed, "Why are you here? No one's reading this, anyway." "I come bearing gifts" came his response. Jesus then reached into his pockets and pulled out a deck of rare Poke'mon cards. He handed them out to everyone and simply said "enjoy." He then ascended into Heaven, never to be seen again. FreakyBob wakes up from a long nap on the couch. "Holy Crap," he screamed in terror, "Is this still going on!?" Then BreakABone said..........

ClownofDespair · 09-21-2002, 10:13 AM

....."I was born with both male and female sex organs." At this, everyone gave BreakABone a look of confusion

Then Neo said.....