A few jokes I found funny

[Bond]

Wow, these jokes are hilarious guys. Keep up the great work.

[Gamer]

LOL, these are some sweet jokes, ill try to think of some good ones and post em later....

but while you wait, here is one...

A guy goes into a bar and has a drink, then the bartender comes up and askes him if he wants to participate in a contest they were putting on, he could win 100$. The guy asks what he has to do, The bartender says, First you have to go beat up the big guy in the corner. Second you have to go and rip a tooth out of the dogs mouth out back, and third you have to go make love to the fat womenin the other corner. There is one more thing, the bartender said, you have to take 3 ****s of vodca before you go, then another three after every thing.

So the guy goes into the corner and beats the crap out of the guy, then he goes back to the counter and takes the shots, then takes off again. He comes back about 10 minutes later and says "geeze she was a friski one, now where is the fat women whos teeth i have to pull."

[The Germanator]

Warning: This joke may be offensive to some religious types and mods can edit it if they feel they have to...



Q:So, what's the difference between a priest and acne?
A: One doesn't come on your face until you are 13...(badum ching!)

[Revival]

Ohhh! That is a good one Germanator!

[Perfect Stu]

Originally posted by The Germanator
Warning: This joke may be offensive to some religious types and mods can edit it if they feel they have to...



Q:So, what's the difference between a priest and acne?
A: One doesn't come on your face until you are 13...(badum ching!)

oooooo...low blow there...but funny

here's one, similar to Germanator's:

>WARNING: Read following at own risk...of laughing <

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and McDonald's?

Not much, they both stick their meat into 10 year old buns.

[Perfect Stu]

Here's another one:

A man walks into a saloon and gets informed that they're holding a contest. You pay $5, and try to make this horse laugh. If you make the horse laugh, you earn the collection money. So the man enters the contest, and the bartender says "Good luck. No one's ever succeeded. *belly laugh*" The man walks up to the horse, whispers somthing into its ear, and the horse, surprisingly, laughs hysterically. The bartender is perplexed, but gives the bucket of money to the man nonetheless.

A week later, the same man returns to the bar, and is told by the bartender that there's another contest. This time, you have to make the horse cry. The man said, "sure, I'll enter" and walked up to the horse. A few seconds later, the horse cried. "Okay, how did you do that?" asked the bartender. "Well, to make him laugh," the man said, "I told him that my penis was larger than his. To make him cry, I showed him it."

*rimshot*

[Revival]

LMAO! Good one Stu

[fingersman]

Nice one STU.

Liked it I'll post another joke soon..probadly tomorrow or something.

[Gamer]

Haha, good one Stu.

[Angrist]

Originally posted by marcellee.com
thats a funny joke. do not view if u r under 18

Bye! Nice knowing you (not)!

[Perfect Stu]

sick bastard. I should kick your ass so hard you'd have to take off your hat to take a sh!t...

[jeepnut]

Originally posted by Perfect Stu
sick bastard. I should kick your ass so hard you'd have to take off your hat to take a sh!t...

I assume the post you are referring to with this got deleted?

[Perfect Stu]

Originally posted by jeepnut


I assume the post you are referring to with this got deleted?

correct-o

[marionette]

Vanilla Pudding?



This is Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March
2,1999:

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight,their
efforts at disabling

the internal security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who


expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables were


surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank.


The robbers cracked the first safe's combination
and inside found a bowl

of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system,
one robber

said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat."

The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also
contained nothing but

vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.
They

found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of
gold. Instead, all

the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the
robbers made

a quiet exit - each leaving with nothing more than a quesy uncomfortably
full

stomach!



The newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING!







i got that in an e-mail

[GameMaster]

Aww man Marionette, that was a good one, rather gross, but funny!

This isn't really a joke just kind of a funny pick line:

Remember the company's staff picnic? Well, that wasn't mustard all around Howard's mouth...