No Revolution at E3 (time for a throat slitting...a rant)

[Teuthida]

http://www.eurogamer.net/article.php?article_id=58675

Both the PS3 and Xbox 360 will go on show at the event, but reports from Japan say the Nintendo Revolution will remain under wraps. There'll be a few rolling demos of games currently in development, but no console and no revolutionary controller on display.

Die Nintendo...just die.

So why the decision to stay out of the limelight? Well, it seems that Nintendo boss Satoru Iwata is worried about rivals nicking all his best ideas at this early stage. That's how revolutionary the new console is, apparently... and also the exact same line Nintendo used to avoid showing Mario 128 at a previous E3.

Nintendo is really really pissing me off. If BOTH Microsoft and Sony are unveiling their consoles why would Nintendo even have the slightest ounce of fear that their idea might be stolen? The systems are final. Would Sony really say "Ooh, Nintendo has a good idea there. Let's modify PS3 while the press takes a bathroom break." And Mario 128 better be f*cking amazing to keep it under wraps for so many years. If it's another waterpack I'm gonna drown some puppies...does Nintendogs have that as an option?

So what exactly can we expect to see on the Nintendo stand? Well, most of the space will be devoted to promoting the new Nintendo Online service. It'll be demonstrated using the DS, and it's thought that the Revolution could have a wireless router capability for hooking up the handheld to the internet. All this will be explained at the publisher's May 17 conference.

Well, I suppose this is a step up from a focus on connectivity. I still have nightmares from those times. Only some warm milk and the soothing sounds of Animal Crossing jibberish can allow me to fall back to sleep once more.

Other stuff on show will include the new Zelda game - we're promised that a playable demo will be available. Plus Pokémon XD for GameCube, Emerald for GBA and Diamond and Pearl for DS - the latter two featuring online functionality.

Nintendo breaks promises...and dreams...and hopes... They wanna be so damn innovative yet they release Pokémon game after Pokémon game with hardly any upgrades (and those that are there suck...they just do...really.) They milk and milk and milk (Mario in NBA Street is a sign of the apocalypse) and then say something completely different. What Nintendo does, and what comes out of Iwata's mouth do not correspond.

No one gives a damn about Revolution...and fewer even know about it. Does Nintendo just expect to unveil it a year after Microsoft and Sony show theirs...and months after Xbox 360 is out on the market? How long will the shrooms inhibit their judgement? Has anyone seen one non-gaming news media source that even gives a hint that Nintendo has something coming? A year ago they shrugged it off that Nintendo would have something. Now, nada. Who cares? Just poor saps like myself...

*Yamauchi is seen dangling puppet strings in a darkened room...laughing...oh how he laughs...