Here are some from my school agenda :
Steven Wright : "On the other hand, I have five fingers", "Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I thyink I've forgotten this before" , "Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?"
Will Rogers : "If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging"
And a great one by Abraham Lincoln : "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt"
Random people : "Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it" , "Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I"
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