I have to pass this on

[gekko]

From an e-mail:

> The following are this year's candidates:
>
> 1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury
> of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
> running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
> understandably
> surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was
> Ms. Robertson's son!
>
> 2. 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
> expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.
> Truman
> apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
> he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.
>
> 3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he
> had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get
> the
> garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
> He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and
> garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and
Mr.
> Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted
> on a
> case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
> homeowner's insurance, claiming the situation caused him undue mental
> anguish.
> The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
>
> 4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and
> medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
> neighbor's
> beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award
> was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a
> little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who was shooting it
> repeatedly
> with a pellet gun.
>
>
> 5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
> Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and
> broke
> her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson
> had
> thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
>
>
> 6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
> night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window
> to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while
Ms.
> Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to
> avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental
> expenses.
>
> 7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma
> City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago
> motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he
set
> the
> cruise control at 70 mph &calmly left the drivers seat to go into the
> back &make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the
> freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not
> advising
> him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury
> awarded him $1,750,000, plus a new motor home. The company actually
> changed
> their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any
other
> complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.