Funny Facebook Statuses

[Bond]

Let's post funny Facebook statuses we come across on our newsfeeds. Ideally, these would be ones that require no explanation or knowledge of context, and can still be funny.

I'll go first:

people who work at mcdonalds must be deaf or just fucking retarded. i said extra honey mustard twice. very loud and clear. there is absolutely zero honey mustard on mc chicken. im very upset.