Life in Southern California

[Neo]

I don't usually post email forwards, but I'm bored at the moment.

Recently in San Diego, California...

A Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the driver that
because he had been wearing his seat belt, he had just won
$5,000 in the statewide safety competition.

"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.
"Well, I guess I'm going to get a driver's license," he answered.

"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled a woman in the passenger seat.
"He's a smart ass when he's drunk"

This woke up the guy in the back seat who took one look at the cop

and moaned," I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice

said, in Spanish, "Are we over the border yet?"

Arkansas Jokes

A guy from Arkansas passed away and left his entire
estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
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How do you know when you're staying in an Arkansas hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my
sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking
age in Arkansas to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Arkansas?
Documentaries.
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Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it had been invented anywhere else, it
would have been called a teeth brush.
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An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-30
and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"
and the driver replies "Bout wut?"

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The governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down!
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The
library was a total loss too. Both books-poof! up in flames and
he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.
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A new law was recently passed in Arkansas. When a couple
gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.

Sometimes crime does pay: