So I went to the courthouse for jury selection yesterday morning. The attorneys asked us a bunch of questions and then picked which ones they wanted to sit on the jury. I was hoping I would get chosen but it was not to be. I was so incensed that I stood up and told the judge "OH YEAH!? Well F#CK you, Judge! F#CK YOU AND F#CK THIS COURT!" A guard tried to subdue me but I connected with a palm-strike to the nose which forced pieces of cartilage into his brain, killing him instantly. A 2nd guard tazed me from behind but I shook it off and leg-sweeped him to the ground, cracking his left shoulder blade. Next the court clerk hurled his chair in my direction but I ducked and it hit a pregnant juror in the stomach. She collapsed screaming "My baby, my baby!" I then picked up the tazer and used the wires like a lasso to ring the judge's neck and force her to the ground. I shocked her until the battery died then I escaped out the window and slid down the storm drain to my waiting vehicle. I tore the parking ticket from the wiper blade and shoved it down the meter maid's throat while she gurgled helplessly. Finally I peeled out of the parking lot and tore ass down Congress Ave while screaming racial epithets in the direction from which I came.
It was the best jury experience ever.
Jury duty
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