Floating Condoms Attack School
This is a true story. Actually, this happened at my school today, and it was hilarious.
At 1:30 PM today at my high school, every student and staff member was sent to the gymnasium and was to remain there while lockers were being inspected for drugs. It was an accepted fact that after this investigation, about 50% of the student body would be carried off to jail.
The students in the gym decided to set or stand wherever they were most comfortable, and the mojority chose the bleachers on the right side of the gym. After nearly 20 minutes of setting, two male students could be seen huddling in a corner of the bleachers. For a second no one knew why, then it became all too apparant. They had blown up a condom to the size of a large balloon. It was about the size of a basketball, other than the nipple like structure protruding from the end.
The condom proceeded to be bounced down the bleachers like a beach ball until someone popped it. (phew! Good thing we didn't actually use that one!)
The entire gym was in an uproar of laughter, and the student body broke out into a large applause. Some teachers even laughed, while others looked like a bat out of hell, but the students were not yelled at, and did not get in any trouble what-so-ever.
About 3 minutes later, the same two boys launched another large blown up condom. Laughter immediatly erupted, and the condom was bounced around. A few minutes later, another one was launched from a nother part of the bleachers. Sounds of laughter reverberated off the walls as the blown up contraceptives proceeded to richochet off the howling crowd.
About 5 minutes afterwards, a small pink blown up condom was launched from yet another part of the gym, and quickly following it was a HUGE purple condom, and afterwards came another normal condom. About 5 condoms were being bounced around at the same time, and the gym had never heard so much laughter. The students still did not get in trouble, and the teachers let them have fun.
Students then began to flip non blown up condoms around, and even filled one up with a soft drink proceeded to use it to bomb either side of the bleachers, back and forth. The writer of this article would like to note that he was nearly hit by the flying pepsi flavored condom, but was lucky enough to dodge it.
The students still didn't get in trouble, though every time a new condom trick would be played a huge applause would break out. One student managed to dunk a slightly deflated condom in the basketball net.
About 3 PM, when school was ready to let out and fourth block was nearly over (the students were still in the gym, and there were still several condoms blown up and bouncing around), somone threw and empty water battle. A staff member immediatly assumed responcibility and yelled at the culprit, and then promptly left.
No students were punished for the "Floating Condom Incident", although there is reason to believe that after the recent drug investigation, teen pregnancy is likely to increase 90%, and the cost of condoms likely to rise due to a shortage.
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