Post your jokes here.

[BlueFire]

Originally posted by DarkMaster
wuts the difference between a pineapple and a penguin?

i dunno...

A penguin isn't the product of a tree, unless I have been horribly mistakened.

[Doctor Zhivago]

Actually, elephants can be dipped in milk. You'd just have to have a rather large glass. And there are several differences between elephants and cookies, not just one. I'd say that the most important of these is that an elephant is a living creature and a cookie is a snack.

[Perfect Stu]

You guys have a worse chance at posting a good joke than a one legged midget does at winning an ass-kicking contest...

[GameMaster]

What kind of ants are the biggest?

Giants!

[quiet mike]

Do You know The Hight of Patience?
Counting your hair with a boxing glove on

Do You KNow The Hight of Football?
Scoring a goal and miss at the replay.

Do You Know The Hight of Athletics?
Runing by yourself and finishing second.

Do You Know The Hight of Hights?
It would be too much to know this one too.



IT doesen't sound as good as in Romanian.

[BlueFire]

Originally posted by GameMaster
What kind of ants are the biggest?

Giants!

I'm going to hurt you.

[Doctor Zhivago]

BLueFire threatens us too much. I say we kill him.....

[DarkMaster]

Originally posted by BLueFire
A penguin isn't the product of a tree, unless I have been horribly mistakened.

that may very well be...but answer me this!! if i had 3 apples and ate 7 how many apples would i have left?

[Perfect Stu]

this thread makes me sad, in an angry sort of way

[Happydude]

darkmaster...lol...you would have -4 apples...you figure it out!

[Doctor Zhivago]

Atlanta School Board

The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the fuss over Ebonics, has decided to designate Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI -- noun. Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."

BARD -- verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH -- noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS -- noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

IGNERT -- adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH -- noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL -- noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR -- noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS -- noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to
work (or studying), your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR -- noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE -- noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD -- Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

TARRED -- adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

FAT -- noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or
combat.

ARE -- pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.

RATS -- noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

FARN -- adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn
country."

DID -- adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR -- noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some ear!"

BOB WAR -- noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE -- Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE -- a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah... haze ignert."

SEED -- verb, past tense.

VIEW -- contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"

[The Germanator]

LOL!!! IT"S FUNY CUZ LIKE, THATS HOW TEHY AND SOUND STUF!!1 ROFLMAO...

[GameMaster]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Don't cry man, it was only a joke.

[Doctor Zhivago]

......um, right. Well, thanks for posting.....

[BlueFire]

Originally posted by GameMaster
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Don't cry man, it was only a joke.

*loads the pistol*