Review of "The Unmasking"

[BreakABone]

Well after much delay Xanny has posted the next chapter in his fanfic. Chapter 3 is titled "The Unmasking" and for anyone other than me who has been reading his fanfic will know that the mysterious Lord of Pain will be revealed.(On a side note it throw me on a complete side ball except for two galring quotes in the chapter. One that I only got after reading the chapter and another that made it obivious if u pay attention) For the sake of those who care to read the fanfic I won't bother telling who it was, but it is shocking unless you pay close attention.

Now as always I will alk about the lenght first. This chapter has a decent lenght and it rather enjoyable to read even though I think some parts dragged.

Well the story itself is pretty cool. It goes into a bit more development of Zelda and Link and the fact that Link is still pretty innocent at the time. Like no knowin much about the telescope. Zelda seems to have some problem seperating her regal self from her more free Sheikan form and the what nots.

The real plot of this story is the unmasking of the Lord of Pain. The story is built up rathjer well for this including the little duel between Zelda,Link and the guards. They only glaring flaw I saw in this build up was the change of view from Zelda to Link. It defeated the whole chance of building up suspense .I mean we could have had that whole section told by Zelda so it would build up more suspense to see what happened to Link, then when she reached Link, switch it to Link and have him retell it like he did.


Um that is about it

[Xantar]

*looks at rating for the thread*

Is that a criticism of the thread or my fanfic?