i recieved this mail from a friend
>> > >These questions about Canada were posted on an International
>>Tourism
>> > >Website and obviously, the answers came from a fellow Canuck.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >1. Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants
>>grow? (UK)
>> > > A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
>> > >watching them
>> > > die.
>> > >
>> > >2. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
>> > > A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
>> > >
>> > >3. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow
>>the
>> > >railroad
>> > > tracks? (Sweden)
>> > > A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. .
>>.
>> > >
>> > >4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada?
>>(Sweden)
>> > > A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
>> > >
>> > >5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of
>>places
>> > > to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
>> > > A: Let's not touch this one.
>> > >
>> > >6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you
>>send me a
>> > >list of
>> > > them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
>> > > A: What did your last slave die of?
>> > >
>> > >7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
>>Canada?
>> > >(USA)
>> > > A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of
>>Europe.
>> > >Ca-na-da
>> > >is
>> > > that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the
>> > >hippo
>> > >racing is
>> > > every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
>> > >
>> > >8. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
>> > > A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you
>>get here
>> > >and
>> > > we'll send the rest of the directions.
>> > >
>> > >9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
>> > > A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>> > >
>> > >10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
>> > > A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering
>>Ger-man-y,
>> > >which
>> > >is...........oh,
>> > > forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
>> > >night in
>> > >Vancouver
>> > > and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
>> > >
>> > >11. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
>> > > A: No, WE don't stink.
>> > >
>> > >12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of
>>youth. Can
>> > >you
>> > > tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
>> > > A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>> > >
>> > >13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
>> > > A: You are an American politician, right?
>> > >
>> > >14. Q: Can you tell me the regions on Bristish Columbia where
>>the female
>> > > population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
>> > > A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
>> > >
>> > >15. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
>> > > A: Only at Thanksgiving.
>> > >
>> > >16. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available
>>all year
>> > > round? (Germany)
>> > > A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter
>>gatherers.
>> > >Milk is
>> > > illegal.
>> > >
>> > >17. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can
>>dispense
>> > > rattlesnake serum. (USA)
>> > > A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can
>>be
>> > >safely
>> > > handled and make good pets.
>> > >
>> > >18. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I
>>forget
>> > >its
>> > > name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
>> > > A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent,
>>eating the
>> > >brains of
>> > > anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by
>> > >spraying
>> > >yourself with
>> > > human urine before you go out walking.
>> > >
>> > >19. Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact
>>the girl I
>> > >dated
>> > > while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
>> > > A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
>> > >
>> > >20. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
>> > > A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
some ppl are just a bit
Re: tsk tsk tsk
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