If Sony entered the fast-food industry...

[Teuthida]

Sony's pricing strategy is brilliant. Imagine if they entered the fast-food industry:

Cashier: Welcome to Sony Burger World, how may I help you?

Customer: I'd like a cheeseburger, hold the onions. That's all.

Cashier: No problem, you're order will be out shortly.

Customer: So, how much do I owe you?

Cashier: I'm not going to say right now.

Customer: Excuse me?

Cashier: But I will tell you this. This is a really nice burger, and your family is going to need to save up for a long time to afford this burger.

Customer: For a burger?

Cashier: A Sony burger, yes.

Customer: When will it be ready?

Cashier: In 30 seconds.

Customer: How can that be? You haven't even handed the order back to the kitchen yet! Nobody's even working the grill right now.

Cashier: It will be ready in 30 seconds.

Customer: I can see your cook in the kitchen right now. He's not cooking, he's on the phone! It is not physically possible for my burger to be ready in 30 seconds!

Cashier: It will be ready in 30 seconds.

Customer: (Pause) OK, it's been 30 seconds. Where's my burger?

Cashier: You're burger will be ready in 15 minutes. We had unforeseen supply problems with the ingredients.

Customer: Jesus Christ! Look, just tell me how much my burger costs or I'm cancelling my order.

Cashier: Your burger will be 600 dollars.

Customer: 600 dollars.

Cashier: Yes, sir. Will you be paying cash or credit?

Customer: That's too much to pay for a burger.

Cashier: Not for a quality burger. This one comes with a solid gold salt shaker, that retails elsewhere for $1,000.

Customer: I don't want a solid gold salt shaker.

Cashier: We want you to want a solid gold salt shaker. We want every family to own and use a solid gold salt shaker.

Customer: I'm not paying $600 for a burger.

Cashier: But look at everything that comes WITH the burger! When you add up the cost of the burger and the salt shaker, you're getting an incredible deal!

Customer: Let me see that shaker... Come on, in three years you'll be able to get this thing for less than $200.

Cashier: Yes, but right now it retails for $1,000 elsewhere, so you are getting excellent value for your money!

Customer: $600 is too much to pay for a burger.

Cashier: Price and value are too different things, sir. You are getting excellent value.

Customer: So you don't have a cheaper burger?

Cashier: Yes, we have a $500 basic burger.

Customer: A basic burger.

Cashier: Yes, it's the same hamburger, but the salt shaker that comes with it is made of aluminum.

Customer: So for $500 I get the hamburger and the shaker, except that the shaker is worthless.

Cashier: Yes, but you'll be saving $100! It's a very smart choice for the cash-conscious consumer.

Customer: Dude, will you get a grip? A 'cash-conscious consumer' is not going to spend hundreds of dollars for a burger!

Cashier: Sir, I saw the car you drove up in. You spent at least $20,000 on that. I'm sure your home cost even more. If spending $600 on a hamburger is going to ruin you financially, then you have some serious problems managing your money, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Customer: Spending $600 is not going to ruin me financially. I just think it's too much to spend on a hamburger.

Cashier: Why are you so obsessed with the cost? I've been trying to talk to you about our delicious hamburger, made with 100% Angus Beef, and our lovingly sculpted gold salt shaker, that everyone is going to want this holiday season. Yet all you do is carp about price, price, price. Can you think about anything other than money for a minute?

Customer: I'm sorry, I guess you're right. There are certainly more important things in this world than money.

Cashier: Apology accepted. Now pay me $600 for your burger.

Customer: *******it, this is ridiculous! I'm going somewhere else for lunch.

Cashier: That's pretty much what I would have expected from a McDonald's fanboy.

Customer: I despise McDonald's. I never eat there. I just don't want to spend $600 for a hamburger.

Cashier: Anyone who complains about Sony Burger prices is a McDonald's fanboy!

Customer #2: Uh, I think $600 is too much to pay for a burger, too.

Cashier: Oh, well, here you go, ma'am! It's a special gift for a special McDonald's fangirl! Some red-and-white striped kneepads so that you'll be more comfortable when you're servicing Ronald!

Customer #2: That's totally out of line!

Cashier: Here's a red clown nose, too! Wearing this gets Ronald off faster, so you won't have to spend so much time with his clown schlong down your...

[Customers leave.]

OK, well, maybe it doesn't work so well with food.

...

[MuGen]

That's a little out of line....if your going to relate Sony to the fast foos industry you should really bring the pricing down realistically. It's not like McDonalds would enter the gaming industry with a 1$ console....

(you or whoever did that skit)

[Null]

well, that was extremely boring..


both of you should be ashamed for posting such craptastic threads....

[Teuthida]

I didn't take the time to write mine though...

After E3 the forums died again. Someone needs to keep making threads. About 1/3 of the E3 threads were started by me as well.

[Dyne]

That skit was perfectly viable and I laughed in a couple places. It's true.

And everyone knows if I started more threads, they would only end in bloodshed, for reasons out of my grasp. But who cares, this E3 forum will just disappear like the rest of the E3 forums have - without a trace.

[Null]

well you do earn bonus points for not actually writing it. but you did post it!

therefor final score you -10 / him -20

[GameMaster]

Striped knee pads, clown nose, Ronald's schlong: A+

[KillerGremlin]

Just so you know, I plan to laugh quite a bit if in 5 years Sony is in first.

[Neo]

I appreciated it.