Stupid people

Xantar · 02-05-2002, 01:13 PM

Where else can you find the latest examples of laughable stupidity? Well, you can go over to Darwin Awards, but then you don't have me picking out the best stories for you.

12 October 2001, Finland *|* A group of friends was stranded beside the freeway when their automobile ran out of gas. The weather was terrible, and despite their frantic efforts, nobody would stop to help them. Eventually one member of the group became so frustrated that he stomped to the middle of the freeway and sprawled out across the road. His friends tried to get him to move, but he yelled back, “I could sleep here…” He was hit by an Audi sports car and dragged 60 meters to his death.

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(11 October 2001, Tennessee) Eight freshman college students were hanging around a vacant library late one night, when they decided it would be a thrill to leap into a small opening they thought was a laundry chute.

Perhaps a few more years of college would have helped them realize that libraries don’t often have laundry chutes. It was actually a garbage chute feeding directly into an automatic trash compactor. 19-year-old Wesley was the first to jump, and he enjoyed an exhilarating three-story slide before being crushed to death in the rubbish bin below.

The other students decided not to follow.

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(23 October 1993, Illinois) A police officer was trying to show another patrolman how their fellow officer accidentally killed himself, by reenacting the shooting incident a week later. But the 20-year veteran forgot to unload his .357 Magnum and wound up shooting himself in the stomach. He died in a car crash while driving himself to the hospital.

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Personal account
(April 98, Canada) Some people talk smart but act like future Darwin Award winners. I had just emerged from my high school chemistry class, not my best subject. On my way to the cafeteria, I was joined by Mr. Junior Einstein, who was happily spouting chemical gibberish. He began pontificating on the reactions caused by adding heat to certain elements such as neon and aluminum. Once we reached the cafeteria, he nonchalantly placed his food in the microwave oven. As it cooked, Einstein explained that aluminum can explode when heated sufficiently. As he talked, I began to detect the faint scent of smoke in the air, which I mentioned to my guest lecturer. As we turned towards the microwave, his jaw dropped low enough to accommodate a rack of test tubes. His dish of food was blazing. One second later the oven was rocked by a loud Kablaam! This candidate for an Honorable Mention suddenly discovered that theoretical knowledge does not equal practical wisdom. The chemistry lesson he learned in the cafeteria was far more valuable: "Don't mix aluminum foil with heat!"

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Neo · 02-05-2002, 01:58 PM

Now that is some funny ****

laundry chute, heh

DeathsHand · 02-05-2002, 02:08 PM

*erases "jump down library's laundry chute" from his to do list*

Jason1 · 02-05-2002, 03:55 PM

heh...that sounds like something someone who Lives in Illinois would do...wait a second I live in Illinois....

*runs away*

GameKinG · 02-05-2002, 09:13 PM

My clothing gets torn up when I wash it too.

TheGrimReaper · 02-06-2002, 02:09 AM

Hehe, the policman....idiot.

Cyrax9 · 02-07-2002, 10:47 PM

Thanks a lot Xanny, now you've got me enjoying this place even more. I have to admit, the cop and the laundry chute were the best. Also your buddy definatly looks like a runner-up for a Darwin

. Oh, you forgot to mention the best Darwin ever, the one given to the guy who wanted to dry his tools cleaned in kerosene quickly, and used a gas clothes dryer, think about it for a while, i'm sure you'll have a laugh. On second thought, this is almost the same as your buddy from chemistry class, who beat my aunt on runner up for a Darwin. If you ever want to see a nice explosion, stick a frozen bottle of carbonated water in a microwave, and watch the stupidity at it's finest.

Xantar · 02-07-2002, 11:32 PM

Much as I'd like to claim that person who microwaved aluminum as my own acquaintance, it's not. I took that from the Darwin Awards also.

But just think about it for a second. The location of the article says Canada.

I do know somebody who has killed lots of pets. Now, he doesn't exactly qualify for a Darwin Award because

1. He didn't kill himself.

2. He was under ten years old at the time these things happened.

Anyway, he once had a snapping turtle and a frog (among other things). One day, he decided the frog should play with the turtle. Snapping turtles have powerful bites, and they'll bite all kinds of things including legs still attached to frogs.

He also once microwaved a gerbil because he thought the gerbil was cold and needed warming up.

TheGrimReaper · 02-08-2002, 12:32 AM

lol microwave.

Cyrax9 · 02-12-2002, 11:24 PM

Xanny, you need to write a book called "101 was NOT to use your Microwave". I'm sure it would be a best seller.

Neo · 02-13-2002, 12:28 PM

That reminds me.... In college I knew a guy that was really poor and couldn't afford to buy a decent microwave. Instead he had an old one which had a hole in the door. Whenever he wanted to cook food he would turn the microwave on and then run away into the next room.

Xantar · 02-13-2002, 02:53 PM

Darn, I wish I had known him. I could have made some money selling him my patented lead underwear.