why would you get married?

[KillerGremlin]

For religious implications?
Social implications?

Also, looking at humanity thus far, is marriage more good, or more evil.

One could argue that marriage represents social regression.

What about western ideas about marriage vs eastern ideas of marriage? What about Islamic (especially "extreme" Islamic) views on marriage? What about arranged marriages? What about the high divorce rates?

Why do brides wear virgin white?
Most do not deserve that right.
But to choose a color of their delight
Would surely bring on the frowns.
-Les Claypool, 1991

Edit: Just an interesting note, marriage predates historical records, so it has been around for quite a long time. And like all things spanning thousands of years, the context and meaning has changed quite dramatically.

[Professor S]

Simply: Because you're in love.

IMO, I never felt completely confident and "whole" for lack of a better term until I met my wife, and my life has improved greatly since meeting her and even more so after we married. Having a family of your own gives you a sense of purpose and determination that is hard to describe. I can honesly say that until you have experienced it, you wouldn't understand completely.

[Angrist]

I believe in life-long love, so I believe in marriage. I think it also helps to stay together and solve problems.

I believe it's how God meant it.

By the way, I do object marrying too fast. I kind of almost did that... no good.

[Combine 017]

Id get married for lots of money from the divorce.

[KillerGremlin]

Originally Posted by Professor S

Simply: Because you're in love.

IMO, I never felt completely confident and "whole" for lack of a better term until I met my wife, and my life has improved greatly since meeting her and even more so after we married. Having a family of your own gives you a sense of purpose and determination that is hard to describe. I can honesly say that until you have experienced it, you wouldn't understand completely.

I guess my questions are:
-can't you be in love and not get married?
-can't you have a family and not be married?

I'm not arguing on behalf of myself because I intend to get married someday, but I'm playing devil's advocate for people who prefer not to get married because I know it happens.

I guess maybe it is just something you have to experience to "get."
So maybe in several years from now I'll get back to you on that haha.

[Professor S]

Originally Posted by KillerGremlin

I guess my questions are:
-can't you be in love and not get married?
-can't you have a family and not be married?

I'm not arguing on behalf of myself because I intend to get married someday, but I'm playing devil's advocate for people who prefer not to get married because I know it happens.

I guess maybe it is just something you have to experience to "get."
So maybe in several years from now I'll get back to you on that haha.

I suppose you could be in love and not get married. Getting married just seemed like the obvious thing to do.

To me I think the term family is subjective. Here is my definition: If you would sacrifice your life to save theirs, then they are a part of your family.

[Mr.Molecule]

Originally Posted by Professor S

To me I think the term family is subjective. Here is my definition: If you would sacrifice your life to save theirs, then they are a part of your family.

Well said, I couldn't agree more.

[Typhoid]

Love.
It's already planned that I'm getting married when I'm 27 anyways.
Me and my friend a few years back decided we'd get married when she's 25. We love eachother. We can't live without eachother. Simple enough to us.

[Dyne]

Love.

I guess as long as the word "bastard" exists, marriage will still be the best route to start a family. And I don't see that changing for a while. I haven't seen that word in this thread yet: Family. Family goes hand in hand with marriage.

[The Germanator]

Hmm, I'd get married if I was in love, but the forced feeling around it would certainly be based around social implications. I dunno, I've just seen so many divorces and troubled marriages around me that there are many times I wonder "what's the point? It seems like people eventually grow apart." Of course, the word marriage popped into my head towards the end of my last relationship. I was in love with her, but now that we've broken up I've begun to think that it could was a horrible mistake to even think about it.

Basically, what's weird to me is that it seems that once people get to a certain age and end up in a serious relationship, they just get married. For example, if I had the 2.5 year relationship I had with my ex when I was in my late 20s instead of my early 20s, it seems that the likelihood that we may have actually gotten married would have gone up big time.

I don't know, I'm kind of mixed up on the whole thing, but I suppose I'll just have to see if I can meet another girl that I feel like I can spend my life with.

[Bond]

Don't forget tax purposes.

[KillerGremlin]

I consider tax purposes a social implication.

Originally Posted by Professor S

To me I think the term family is subjective. Here is my definition: If you would sacrifice your life to save theirs, then they are a part of your family.

I think this definition is brilliant because it is probably an effective description of what kept early humans together thousands of years ago. I completely agree that my family will be a group of people that I will take a bullet for; however, just my immediate family because I have some annoying extended family .

Originally Posted by Combine 017

Id get married for lots of money from the divorce.

By joking you bring up a good point. Is the divorce/court system fair? Effective? Do fathers not have enough rights sometimes?


I see Typhoid is associating marriage with love and a sense to be together with someone forever. This is the most common association and in my opinion probably the most innocent: innocent like...a very natural reaction to "why are you getting married."

I guess as long as the word "bastard" exists, marriage will still be the best route to start a family. And I don't see that changing for a while. I haven't seen that word in this thread yet: Family. Family goes hand in hand with marriage.

Family, as in children? Why can't two people who are in love settle and never have kids? And what about gay couples who want to adopot children, but can't get married. That's a "family." And if you want, I read a few studies that suggest gay adopters make better parents thna some heterosexual parents. One thing we probably will agree on is that kids raised by "a family" tend to do better than kids raised by single parents...not to say some single parents don't do a helluva job, because I know there are some 19 year old moms out there who got knocked up and are busting their ass off trying to make cash to support their kid because daddy won't pay child support.

Originally Posted by The Germanator

Hmm, I'd get married if I was in love, but the forced feeling around it would certainly be based around social implications. I dunno, I've just seen so many divorces and troubled marriages around me that there are many times I wonder "what's the point? It seems like people eventually grow apart." Of course, the word marriage popped into my head towards the end of my last relationship. I was in love with her, but now that we've broken up I've begun to think that it could was a horrible mistake to even think about it.

Basically, what's weird to me is that it seems that once people get to a certain age and end up in a serious relationship, they just get married. For example, if I had the 2.5 year relationship I had with my ex when I was in my late 20s instead of my early 20s, it seems that the likelihood that we may have actually gotten married would have gone up big time.

I don't know, I'm kind of mixed up on the whole thing, but I suppose I'll just have to see if I can meet another girl that I feel like I can spend my life with.

Thank you for your honest and personal response. I agree, I think for a lot of people marriage is/has become a formality. I think people feel if they reach a point in their relationship they have to get married.

[Bond]

Sorry, I was being a bit sarcastic in my answer. Here's what I really I think:

I view all the grand choices of life (the relationship you choose with your family, whom you associate with, your profession, and your spouse) as a road to self-actualization, that is, the pinnacle of one's existence.

While I do think one can lead a very meaningful and purposeful life without a spouse, I do not believe that it will be a fully realized life. To your family, you have given your love, to your associates and friends, you have given your trust, to your profession, you have given your intellect, and to your spouse, you have given your soul.

[KillerGremlin]

I want to share why I would get married.

I consider marriage a step forward in a relationship...but not a step like "having sex" or "moving in together." In my opinion, marriage is a great way of proving your commitment, and celebrating your love. The whole ring thing pisses me off every time I see a fucking Zales or Jared's commercial, as if the only way she will love you is if you spend several thousand on a rock that was in a volcano's ass for several thousand years. I feel like, if done right, a marriage can be a great part of the human experience. I would like my marriage to be outside, and it is going to be a big party. I want a simple service (basically, not 2 hours long like the last Catholic wedding went to), and then I want a party. I want dancing, I want good food, I want booze...I want it in a nice warm environment (outside), and I want to party into the night. I want to use my wedding as a chance to reflect on the past time spent with my significant other, I want it to be a way to show all my friends and family how much I love this person, and I want to use the wedding as a way of saying, "lots of good things are to come in the future."

I'm not getting married because of pressures of a long relationship...or for money....or because society deems it necessary to start a family. I know several people who have parents who never married. It happens, and for some people it just works.

As an ex-catholic who considers himself agnostic/against-organized-religion, I do think true love/marriage can have a spiritual side. But last Catholic wedding I went to was a joke...it was just so hypocritical. The sinning vs. Catholic tradition; hypocrisy extreme. Actually, pretty normal stuff for Catholics.

Anyway thank you for the responses so far, marriage is a crazy topic of discussion.

[BreakABone]

Unplanned pregnancy and a shotgun