Mule vs. Beaver

Professor S · 03-12-2009, 03:21 PM

VS

Teuthida · 03-12-2009, 03:44 PM

Kick from mule = dead beaver. The passive paddletail hasn't a chance. Maybe if it were smarter and given a motive it could time a tree falling on a mule.

Dyne · 03-12-2009, 04:41 PM

No contest.

Have you ever seen the size of a mule's dick? Go to a zoo some time and wait around for an hour or two.

Bube · 03-12-2009, 04:43 PM

I can't believe this is going head-to-head!

Professor S · 03-12-2009, 05:00 PM

Play by Play!

Mule comes out kicking, but can't find the Beaver. Silence rules the air, until there is a sound of timbers cracking. With mild agility, Mule barely avoids a falling tree, but he's caught by a branch! DOWN GOES MULE!

Beaver begins to celebrate, jumping up and down in all his furry glory, but it is premature as Mule is back on his feet and *CRACKABADOOM!!* Beaver is punted into the river and Mule wades in to finish the job. But the river is Beaver's natural habitat! Could this be a fatal mistake?

Exploding like a dolphin from the water's top, Beaver performs a deft Matrix slo-mo bitch-slap with his waffled paddle tail, stunning Mule. Beaver swims below to castrate Mule, but OH NO!! Beaver forgets that Mule's manhood is useless!! With another brutal thrust, Mule catapults Beaver onto the grassy shore.

Beaver slowly rises, spits blood from his swollen and broken jaw, and laughs:

"Look behind you, you nutless son of a bitch"

Beaver's dam breaks right on schedule...

to be continued...

Typhoid · 03-12-2009, 05:22 PM

Hands down the beaver.
Beaver's are way way faster, more resourceful, and have giant teeth.

Dylflon · 03-12-2009, 07:05 PM

This is epic.

The official animal of Canada (Beaver) vs. official animal of the USA (mule).

KillerGremlin · 03-12-2009, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dyne

No contest.

Have you ever seen the size of a mule's dick? Go to a zoo some time and wait around for an hour or two.

lol. reminds me last time I was at the zoo I saw a rhino's 3-foot erection. good times.

Also, I'm gonna go with the beaver here...beavers rock.

BreakABone · 03-12-2009, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylflon

This is epic.

The official animal of Canada (Beaver) vs. official animal of the USA (mule).

Wait, I get the Beaver, but how is the Mule American?

And if that's the case... Mule!

Combine 017 · 03-12-2009, 08:00 PM

Im going to be honest. I only chose beaver because it said TF2 in it.

Fox 6 · 03-12-2009, 08:00 PM

Democratic symbol is a mule.

So barack is riding a mule!

Teuthida · 03-12-2009, 08:32 PM

Mule headcount in 2003

And even though the beaver is NY's state animal, I know it would still lose out to a mule in a fight. Think logically people.

GameMaster · 03-12-2009, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylflon

This is epic.

The official animal of Canada (Beaver) vs. official animal of the USA (mule).

Bald eagle = U.S. Official Animal

You tiny dancer, you.

The Germanator · 03-12-2009, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fox 6

Democratic symbol is a mule.

So barack is riding a mule!

Nah, that's a Donkey...A Mule is if a donkey and a horse mate.

Teuthida · 03-12-2009, 08:42 PM

Isn't the moose Canada's animal?

Although to be fair he comes packaged with a beaver with a gun. And yes I own them.