Xbox is to Saturn as Xbox 360 is to... Dreamcast!

[gekko]

I just read this, and got a kick out of it. It originates from the PGC forums from davidlow122.

I've left it in it's original format, added a few comments to correct major historical errors, and just formatted it better.

The history of The Sega Saturn and the Sega Dreamcast

Sega Saturn

• Sega releases a large black console in the US, about the size of a VCR, called the Saturn. It has internal memory for saving games (in this case a battery back up) so it doesn’t need a memory card, but it supports memory cards too.
• It uses the same media as Sony’s Playstation (CD), and has the same media functionality (plays audio CDs).
• It is released in the US with a very large controller, that in functionality (that is, buttons) is basically a rip-off of Sega’s last effort (the Mega Drive pad), with the added functionality of Nintendo's last pad (The SNES shoulder buttons)
• People scorn the size and form of the controller, so it is quickly replaced with the Japanese edition, which had the same buttons but was smaller.
• Eventually, the Saturn’s much hyped online service, Sega NetLink is launched. Only about 6% of Saturn users ever use the service (most of them in Japan).
• The launch price is very expensive compared to what consoles have cost in the past, although Sega were still making a substantial loss on the system.
• While having a loyal user base, the console is not profitable, and it loses a lot of money for Sega.
• The system’s design was also such that it couldn’t be revised to save on manufacturing costs, so any price drops had to be absorbed by Sega themselves, and the company lost even more.
• By 1998, Sega has lost $309 million on the Saturn in the US alone.
• The Saturn is only just hitting it’s stride creatively when Sega starts winding down production of the hardware, with amazing games like Burning Rangers, Panzer Dragoon Saga, Marvel vs Street Fighter and Radiant Silvergun coming out when Sega's next console was already late in development.
• The Saturn has about a 12 million installed user base when Sega kills it off by moving to Dreamcast development, the majority of which are in Japan (8 million)

Sega Dreamcast

• Well before Sony and Nintendo’s current consoles (PS1 and N64) life cycle is complete, Sega releases a smaller, white console called the Dreamcast. This console does not have the inbuilt memory of it’s predecessor, and requires additional hardware to save games, in the form of a new type of memory card with a small LCD screen, called the VMU. It is not backward compatible with its predecessor.
• It uses a new untested media format called GD rom, which is basically a higher density version of their last machine’s format (CD). It retains the media functionality of it’s predecessor (plays audio CDs).
• It’s controller steals Nintendo’s analogue stick and controller slot.[gekko's note: analog stick was first introduced by Sega, on the NiGHTS pad, if I'm not mistaken]
• Sega once again heavily promotes it’s online service (even naming the console after it - “Dreamcast” as in “broadcast”), and once again only a small percentage of players ever use the service.
• To begin with, the console’s graphics are great, way better then Sony and Nintendo’s ageing hardware. But by the time the new Sony and Nintendo come out, the Dreamcast’s graphics are looking pretty dated. It doesn’t help that apart from some great exceptions, a lot of DC games are just higher resolution versions of N64 and PS1 games.
• Despite hopes to the contrary, Sega are losing just as much money on the Dreamcast as they were on the Saturn.
• Pretty soon, Sega shareholders are out of patience, and Dreamcast production is ceased.
• Sega leaves the console race in massive debt.

The history of The Microsoft Xbox and the Microsoft Xbox360.
(companies' names changed, there are also a few other small edits.)

Microsoft Xbox

• Microsoft releases a large black console in the US, about the size of a VCR, called the Xbox. It has internal memory for saving games (in this case a Hard Drive) so it doesn’t need a memory card, but it supports memory cards too.
• It uses the same media as Sony’s Playstation 2 (DVD), and has the same media functionality (plays DVDs).[gekko's note: Media functionality costs extra]
• It is released in the US with a very large controller, that in functionality is basically a rip-off of Sega’s last effort (the Dreamcast pad), also ripping off the added functionality of Nintendo’s new pad (the Gamecube’s c-stick).[gekko's edit: Sony added a second analog stick first]
• People scorn the size and form of the controller, so it is quickly replaced with the Japanese edition, which had the same buttons but was smaller.
• Eventually, the Xbox’s much hyped online service, Xbox Live is launched. Only about 6% of Xbox users actually use the service.[gekko's note: 5% is more accurate, but not as funny]
• The launch price is very expensive compared to what consoles have cost in the past, although Microsoft were still making a substantial loss on the system.
• While having a loyal user base, the console is not profitable, and it loses a lot of money for Microsoft.
• The system’s design was also such that it couldn’t be revised to save on manufacturing costs, so any price drops had to be absorbed by Microsoft themselves, and the company lost even more.
• By 2005, Microsoft had lost US$4 Billion on the Xbox.
• The Xbox was only hitting it’s stride creatively when Microsoft started winding down production of the hardware, with amazing games like Fable, Doom 3 and Forza Motorsport coming out when Microsoft’s next console was already late in development.
• The Xbox had about a 20 million installed user base when Microsoft killed it off by moving to Xbox360 development.

Microsoft Xbox360

• Well before Sony and Nintendo’s current consoles (PS2 and Gamecube) life cycle is complete, Microsoft releases a smaller, white console called the Xbox360. This console does not have the inbuilt memory of it’s predecessor, and requires additional hardware to save games, in the form of a new type of External hard Drive. It is not backward compatible with its predecessor.[gekko's note: Backwards compatibility and whether or not the HD is included is still unknown, for a few more minutes]
• It uses a new untested media format called HD DVD, which is basically a higher density version of their last machine’s format (DVD). It retains the media functionality of it’s predecessor (plays DVDs).[gekko's note: Actually, won't use HD-DVD]
• It’s controller steals Nintendo’s Wireless function.
• Microsoft once again heavily promotes it’s online service, and once again only a small percentage of players ever use the service.
• To begin with, the console’s graphics are great, way better then Sony and Nintendo’s ageing hardware. But by the time the new Sony and new Nintendo come out, the Xbox 360’s graphics are looking pretty dated. It doesn’t help that apart from some exceptions, a lot of Xbox360 games are just higher resolution versions of PS2 and Gamecube games.
• Despite hopes to the contrary, Microsoft are losing just as much money on the Xbox360 as they were on the Xbox.
• Pretty soon, Microsoft shareholders are out of patience, and Xbox360 production is ceased.
• Microsoft leaves the console race, with the games division in massive debt.

Ironic, ain't it?

[Jonbo298]

Very

[Dark Samurai]

Joey Lawrence comes to mind...

...whoa!...

[AzeaL]

nug u suck, xbox 360 is so bad! freakin my computer which is a windows 95 edition, nec comp is better than that xbox 360 ****. Dude **** xbox 360, you can shove its wires up my ass for all i care!
Peace out BITCHES!

[DarkMaster]

Originally Posted by AzeaL

nug u suck, xbox 360 is so bad! freakin my computer which is a windows 95 edition, nec comp is better than that xbox 360 ****. Dude **** xbox 360, you can shove its wires up my ass for all i care!
Peace out BITCHES!

WORD

[MuGen]

I've never seen such a better analogy.... encore/encore!

[Dyne]

Microsoft? Massive debt?

I think that's the only difference here. As much as people would like to see Microsoft go under.. It wouldn't actually become true.

[AzeaL]

Xbox 360 Isn't Going To Make The World Move To A New Beat, The Thing Looks LIke A Piece Of ****.

The Controllers Look Like Dreamcast. Everything with this damn system is like dreamcast!

[gekko]

Originally Posted by Dyne

Microsoft? Massive debt?

I think that's the only difference here. As much as people would like to see Microsoft go under.. It wouldn't actually become true.

Microsoft's game division reports massive losses every quarter. Massive debt? Yep.

Will Microsoft go under? No, Windows and Office, the profitable products won't be touched. The companies worst projects, Xbox and Xbox 360, will be dropped in a heartbeat.

[Swan]

Originally Posted by AzeaL

nug u suck, xbox 360 is so bad! freakin my computer which is a windows 95 edition, nec comp is better than that xbox 360 ****. Dude **** xbox 360, you can shove its wires up my ass for all i care!
Peace out BITCHES!

Um, was he serious?

[Typhoid]

Originally Posted by Azeal

ug u suck, xbox 360 is so bad! freakin my computer which is a windows 95 edition, nec comp is better than that xbox 360 ****. Dude **** xbox 360, you can shove its wires up my ass for all i care!
Peace out BITCHES!

Originally Posted by deejzguy

Um, was he serious?

*Reads Azeal's profile*

Occupation:
An 8th Grade Student

Oh...ok....it all makes sense now.

[Dyne]

Originally Posted by gekko

Microsoft's game division reports massive losses every quarter. Massive debt? Yep.

Will Microsoft go under? No, Windows and Office, the profitable products won't be touched. The companies worst projects, Xbox and Xbox 360, will be dropped in a heartbeat.

I sure hope so. As much as I liked some of the games on the Xbox this generation, I really didn't like having to buy a third console.

^And thus is the start of the next gen fanboy wars.

[Neo]

I would love if the 360 failed simply because I thrive on the disappointment of others.