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I'm well aware that you're joking, but it seems absurd to think only Catholic priests are the ones committing these crimes. There is no way that I'll believe no Muslims, Jews, Christians, Mormons or even Amish are doing it. It's just easiest for someone who wants to be close to little boys to fake believing in God to become a priest.
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Show me the Jewish rabbi who was raping or molesting children and then had his crimes covered up by the very highest authority in th Jewish religion itself.