Quote:
Yes, this one is better than the rest. The fight was more than just "*random member* jumps out and attacks *other member*. *other member* resists. *one of the members* dies from some wound."
I was actually curious as to whether or not the group of members would be able to take down the guy. Who would survive and whatnot.
So yes, the battle was a little more exciting, but it still has the same faults the other chapters have had. There were a few details you could have added, some that were unnecessary (the exploding generator just seemed to me to be there so there would be an explosion; works better in movies; if your purpose was to show that the generator couldn't be used anymore, you could have done it better). There were also a few times where I wasn't sure what a pronoun (more specifically "he") was referring to. I'm not sure whether or not it was talking about one of the GT guys or the attacker.
And I personally don't really care what happens to "my" character. Already "I" have shown myself to be unlike the actual me. And its not like I'm controlling what "I" do.
Last note: Feedback is more than just praise. A good writer looks forward to criticism that shows him ways to become better at writing rather than praise that doesn't help you at all.
*shrugs and walks away*
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And there we have it. No matter what I do. I'm doing it wrong. That makes me feel all warm inside.
You're problem Ginkasa is you're taking this as if it were a serious piece of literature. Which it isn't.
it's something fun. At least some of the other members are enjoying it.
You're being kind of a wad.
*shrugs and walks away*