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Originally Posted by Dylflon
You don't know what you want. Your first complaint was you didn't know how everyone had died.
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No, I was complaining that you told us all of the deaths in a list, but didn't tell us what happened. If you wanted us to know, at that point, who had died and who had not, you should have written it in the story instead of giving us a list. That's tons of story-telling that's wasted.
But then you were saying that you were wanting to add suspense by telling us who had died, but not telling us how they died. I was saying that you could add more suspense by not telling us everyone who had died and who's still out there hunting.
I'm not trying to tell you each little thing you should do with this. This si your story and you should write it how you want. I'm just trying to help you do that better.
I'm trying to give advice on how to improve, not demands to make this like I want.
*shrugs and walks away*