Not bad so far BreakABone. The scene was set up well, you kept people on track by adding some background info for people who may not have played every Mario game, readers weren't left guessing "Who's he/she and why is he/she important to the story?", there was some nice humor added that fits in with Mario games (let's face it, Mario isn't a series with an overly serious feel to it) and you left people wondering. Very nice.
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