Quote:
Originally posted by Doctor Zhivago
I said that Angrist is attractive.
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Hmm... Calling Angrist attractive and making fun of everyone else...
I think he comes from some kind of alternate dimension where everything is the opposite of how it is here...
And if BlueFire is your daddy then that makes me your Grand pappy so come on over and curl up next to the fire and I'll tell you about the time I fell into a puddle of water and ended up in China.
So one day I was sitting around a bon fire with my army buddies munching on shrooms when the jolly green giant came out screamin' bloody mary and trying to rip my good friend Phil's shirt off when his gigantic Italian wife comes running out of the bushes trying to stop him, hitting him with a spatula and saying something in that dern canadian language. So we take the opportunity to run off into the woods and split up, so I go running off down towards a stream when I am confronted by Jesus! He tells me that I've been a bad person and he sent the Jolly Green Giant down to crush me for my sins. Well I throw some shrooms at him and his eyes light up and he drops to his knees and starts scoopin' em up, which allowed me to get away again. I wound up on the streets of New Orleans stumbling around in my underwear trying to bum a cigarette from someone when I meet up with Phil who told me that the others had been captured and taken to the Jolly Green Giant's lair behind the local Olive Garden. So we go running into the Olive Garden with our guns just shooting away at everything that moves when we realize that the crew from Sesame Street was there with a bunch of kids filming a special on how you should never trust Italian people. So big bird comes over and peck's Phil's eyes right out of his ****in' skull! So I quickly run outside, but I trip and fall face down in a puddle, and when I look up I'm surrounded with a bunch of damn asian people! I spent 10 years in a POW camp being forced to eat that god-awful food of theirs before Jesus came down and thanked me for the shrooms from 10 years before and transported me back to the good old US of A! Lemme tell you, after that experience I've greeted every Italian and Asian person I've seen with a swift kick in the ass!
And let that be a lesson to all of you damn kids, now if you'll excuse me I have a pot party to attend...