Haha "do you crap standing up." I love Curb.
I'm well aware of splash back, or when you double stream it. Or the very elusive triple stream. If you make a triple stream you pretty much know you're fucked. And then there is the morning wood pee where you extend like a plank with your arm against the wall supporting you so you can angle your junk down at the toilet. You can't do that sitting down! What now!
This website covers this challenge very nicely:
http://www.sexhax.com/peeing.html
I mostly do the plank:
But am a fan of the Superman:
Edit: I do wipe the bowl down, and I always clean my bathroom. I actually enjoy cleaning bathrooms. Give me that over vacuuming 8 days out of the week. I like scrubbing bathrooms more than dishes too. So that division of labor will probably work out in my favor in the future. As long as the people I share the bathroom with have the same courtesy to wipe the bowl, etc.