So... Where to begin.
Ok so tonight was watching a normal episode of Law and Order SVU, which has become a nightly thing with my roommates and I.
It was an episode about a gay man they found murdered on the sidewalk.
Brief summary:
Quote:
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A gay man who had a brief stint in a Fundamentalist Christian-sponsored sexual re-education course is found murdered, and suspects range from the conversion program itself, a bigoted church group who kept sending him threatening letters, a group of psychologists studying the nature of homosexuality, and two of his ex-lovers, one of whom is the son of one of the professors
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Anyway at one point the professor and his son have a sort of emotional shout match. It wasn't really well acted, it honestly wasn't even that good, but I immediately started crying.
So basically the point is I've been carrying around a lot of emotional hang ups and baggage type stuff for the majority of my 25 years of life.
I really have no clue how to deal with it. I've never really talked to anyone about a lot of the things that have happened to me since even as early as the age of 4.
I suppose normal people at this point would seek counseling or psychiatric help, but these things cost money I just don't have, and I'm unaware of any free programs in the area I could actually get involved in.
So I've been thinking of perhaps trying to deal with it in some type of blog. I mean even if no one ever reads it, at least I get the words and thoughts out.
Anyway, was thinking maybe 2-3 times a week I write a blog entry about events in my life that have gotten me to where I am now. I don't even know if that's a good idea, a lot of it is highly personal, but oddly I wouldn't mind sharing it.
Hell, maybe even 1 random confused gay kid in his/her freshman year of high school might read it someday, and it might help them deal with some stuff. I just don't know.
Also can anyone suggest any good free blog websites?